0151 – These Are the Top Reasons Men & Women Feel Insecure

Show Intro

I am Elijah R Young, I’m here with Sarah J. Storer and this is Relations: The Podcast, the on-demand radio show giving you better relationships, and more importantly, helping you become a better person to be in a relationship with…In today’s show:


Show Description

Today we’ll discuss the top 5 first date insecurities for men and women. This is a continuation of the conversation from a couple articles on WomenIO.com and DrNerdLove.com


By the end of this episode:

  • [Show subtopics]


Describe the problem

…Insecurity is something even the most confident person experiences every now and again. It doesn’t matter if you’re male or female, either. Insecurity makes you anxious, worried, and removed from the moment. So what are the top insecurities for males and females? And what can you do to combat insecurity in the early stages of dating. Find out on today’s episode!

Segment #1

  1. Their Body – For the first time in generations, women are openly ogling men the way that we’ve been drooling over women and it makes us profoundly uncomfortable. We’re worried that we’re too fat, too thin, too hairy, too tall, too short, too… something. And it’s driving us to dangerous levels of desperation trying to match up with a societal ideal.
  2. Your Finances – But what if you’re not even middle class? What if you’re stuck with public transportation, a minimum wage job, a shitty apartment  and a “ramen-five-nights-a-week” diet? What then? How can you expect to find a girlfriend then? What woman is willing to put up with riding the bus to your very-occasional dinner out and your once-a-month-maybe movie date?
  3. Your Hair – The level of importance men put on their hair would astound most women. We like to pretend that all the care we put into our hair care is to shake our heads a couple of times on the way out of the shower, but a man’s hair is one of the most visible symbols of his potency and masculinity. Which of course, means that thinning or receding hair is proof of God’s hate.
  4. Sexual Ability – It gets even more insane when you throw porn into the mix. Now suddenly not only are we worried about whether we’re the best lover she’s ever had but men are worried about such things as whether to aim for her boobs or her face or the volume of his ejaculation. That’s right, if you can’t paint a Jackson Pollock on the wall with your sperm, you are not a man.
  5. Penis – The size and shape of a man’s penis is the number one source of any man’s insecurities and fears and we all have the clogged spam folders to prove it. Circumcised or natural, growers or showers, curved or straight…  every man alive has had anxious questions as to how he measures up and whether his is unusual or otherwise just wrong. Penis size is popularly associated with virility and sexual desirability.


[message break]


Segment #2

  1. Age: Women also are insecure about their age. They want to look young, are jealous of other women, and are constantly trying to find the right foods and products which will fight the aging process.
  2. Height: Having an ideal height is also apparently a problem for women. Most women seem to want to be taller, and complain of only being in the low 5’s; 5’ 1’’ to 5’ 5’’ is apparently not tall enough. Think about those tall, long-legged fashion models that apparently all women want to emulate. There is a point, of course though, where a woman becomes too tall – somewhere around 5’ 10” is the limit. Any taller than that, and they might challenge the superiority of men.
  3. He will not call me back: A woman, when in a new relationship, is apparently always intent on having the man call her back, and must be reassured by the man that he will in fact call her in order to soothe her anxiety.
  4. Weight: The next most obvious insecurity women have regards their weight. Women always want to be skinnier; or, no matter how gorgeous they are they always believe that they are overweight; they are constantly looking for the newest fad diet of watermelon only, or high protein low starch, or nothing but raisins and kippers on Tuesdays and Sunday evenings; and so on and so on.
  5. Sexuality: By far the most commonly listed insecurity. Women, apparently, want most of all to be sexually desirable, and are constantly measuring their own sexual desirability against that of other women.

[message break]


Final Thoughts:


  • Elijah’s Thoughts
  • Sarah’s Thoughts


Show recap

Listener Mail


Show Close

If you have a question, comment, or funny story about [INSERT SHOW TOPIC] we have a private SafeSpace on facebook where we talk about all sorts of social, professional, and romantic relationship topics, and after every show you can go there and share you story, get some advice from great people or just hang out. Both Sarah and I are there every day and you can be there too, just go to www.relationspodcast.com/join and click the “Join Now’ button.


Until we meet again, keep striving to make every relationship you have the best it can possibly be, including (and especially) the one with yourself. We’ll talk soon.


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