0096 – How to Avoid a Fight Before it Starts – Fight Week!


This week is all about conquering conflict, and today we going to talk about how to de-fuse an argument when you see it coming on the horizon.


By the end of this episode:

  • Top 8 strategies to end an argument before it starts

Describe the problem

…When you put two humans with different perspectives, viewpoints and experiences together, you will inevitably, at some point, have conflict. But for those who are trying to make relationships work, is it possible to avoid conflict in the first place? And if it isn’t, how do you approach conflict in a rational manner before things escalate?

Segment #1

  1. 8. Don’t stockpile – Are you only letting go of a problem because you’re reserving the right to bring it up again later? That’s called stockpiling, and you’re already admitting that you’re down for an argument as soon as you have enough ammo.
  2. 7. Understand Anger – Psychology Today There is a vast difference between anger and rage. When someone is angry they need to state their feelings, they don’t break things or relationships – that is ragefull behavior.
  3. 6. Don’t avoid it – Conflict often sucks, but avoiding it doesn’t make it go away. Ignoring your own, and your partners issues only allow them to further create a volcano of emotion that’s bound to blow any day now…
  4. 5. Keep your voice low –  Science has proven that smiling makes you happy, that also means that escalating your volume can escalate a problem. Keep your voice low in conflict situatiuons and it’ll be tougher to get into a full blow argument.

Segment #2

  1. 4. Talk about feelings – Ugh, feelings…I know how you feel guys. Unfortunately, during an argument, this is what’s coming out more often than not, so why not address them before you’re screaming at the top of your lungs? You might actually get something solved.
  2. 3. Don’t threaten the relationship – “Maybe we should just break up then”, it’s like the relationship wildcard and the ultimate argument to sway everything to your side. Be careful of crying wolf…your partner may stop believeing you after a while…or evern worse, maybe they will believe you
  3. 2. Don’t engage – Choice is awesome, it allows you to have a favorite ice cream, favorite sport team, and even a favorite way to respond to argument bait. Just say no, to things that are clearly egging you into an argument and stay focused on the positive and constructive bits, and you’ll emerge from more conversations fight-free

Final Thoughts:

#1. Know your and your partners triggers (and avoid them!) – That last part is the important part. You’ve been togetherfor a while, and you know that he’s sensitive about his…tupee. You know she thinks she’s fat in that dress, but you’d never stoop so low to use that to get an upper hand in an argument…or would you?

  • Elijah’s Thoughts
    • Show grace
  • Sarah’s Thoughts


In Closing

If you have a question, comment, or funny story about [INSERT SHOW TOPIC] we have a private SafeSpace on facebook where we talk about all sorts of social, professional, and romantic relationship topics, and after every show you can go there and share you story, get some advice from great people or just hang out. Both Sarah and I are there every day and you can be there too, just go to www.relationspodcast.com/join and click the “Join Now’ button.

Until we meet again, keep striving to make every relationship you have the best it can possibly be, including the one with yourself. We’ll talk soon.

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