0094 – Love Language Week: You’d Never Guess This Thing About Physical Touch


How to know if you or your partner’s love language is words of affirmation, and how to show love to your partner this way.

Teaser Bullets

by the end of this episode you’ll learn:

  • …what the love language of Physical Touch is
  • how to know if you partner receives love this way
  • the number 1 tip to show your partner love through Physical Touch

Describe the problem

…In the beginning of your relationship, you couldn’t keep your hands off each other. Now it’s a few months or years in, and you’ve settled into a more comfortable routine with your partner. Sure, you don’t cuddle as much on the couch while watching movies, or hold hands when walking into the grocery store, but you guys are in love and everything cools down eventually, right? Well, if your partner’s love language is Physical Touch, he or she is likely acutely noticing how things have “settled.” So how can you show your partner love this way without grossing everyone in the restaurant out? Find out after the break.

Segment #1

Quick review of love languages

How to know if this love language is yours or your partner’s:


    • 8. Definition:This language isn’t all about the bedroom. A person whose primary language is Physical Touch is, not surprisingly, very touchy. Hugs, pats on the back, holding hands, and thoughtful touches on the arm, shoulder, or face—they can all be ways to show excitement, concern, care, and love. Physical presence and accessibility are crucial, while neglect or abuse can be unforgivable and destructive.” (http://personalitycafe.com/articles/112444-five-love-languages-explained.html)

How to know…

    • 7. What does your partner complain about most often? E.g. Why don’t we cuddle anymore? or I think it’s so nice that so-and-so and such-and-such are always touching or I wish we had more sex
    • 6. How does your partner typically show love to others? E.g. He or she may be a “hugger”, likely has no problem being physical with friends platonically, or is always doing light touches during conversation
    • 5. What does your partner request most often? E.g. Cuddle time, PDA, sex

Segment #2

How to show…

    • 4. This can be a tough language to learn if you didn’t come from a touchy family, or if you have any history of touch being used negatively in the past, but like other languages, try to see the little opportunities (rather than always focusing on sex) that you can touch your partner
    • 3. Designate times/circumstances when you ALWAYS touch your partner. For example, every time you park the car and walk into the store, hold hands. Or every time you are at dinner with another couple, you allow your knees to touch.
    • 2. Sex is important to a partner whose love language is physical touch, sure, but so is non-sexual touch. Backrubs, quick brushes on the back of the neck or lower back when you pass each other, or even a quick kiss before running out the door all speak volumes to your partner.


Final Thoughts:

Number One Tip: Use your imagination. If this is not your “thing” this is probably one of the easiest languages (and most fun!) to learn. You don’t have to be attached at the hip or uncomfortably passionate in public, but this language is all about the little touches…a hand on the knee in the car, a head on the shoulder at the movies, or even just a hand to the elbow when asking, “can I get you anything?”


  • Elijah’s Thoughts
  • Sarah’s Thoughts


In Closing

If you have a question, comment, or funny story about [INSERT SHOW TOPIC] you can send us an email at elijah@relationspodcast.com. You can also follow us on Twitter at “Haverelations”, find us on facebook at facebook.com/haverelations. I’m @elijahryoung on Twitter, my amazing co-host (and author of “How to be Dumped: The definitive Breakup Guide” is @sarahJStorer on Twitter and this show’s notes and soon, it’s transcription, will be at our home base, relationspodcast.com/94, and don’t forget to subscribe to the Get the Gal, or Get the Guy mini course in the sidebar!

Now go forth and continue to relate better to one another. We’ll talk soon.

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