0130 – How You Can Move on From a Toxic Relationship


We’re discussing how to move on after a toxic relationship ends

By the end of this episode:

  • you’ll learn how to “re-set” to healthy
  • how to purge your life of a toxic person
  • the #1 tip for moving on when a toxic relationship ends

Describe the problem

…You did the right thing and you moved on from a toxic person in your life…and things should feel great now, right? Wrong. Just like with any relationship that ends, there is going to be hurt and pain, even if you are feeling relieved that things are over. Toxic people are sometimes especially difficult to move on from. Find out how to move on when these relationships end in episode 130: HOw to move on when a toxic relationship ends.

Segment #1

  1. Sort through whether or not you’re missing “noise” instead of the person–toxic relationships lead us to believe all relationships are a series of 1’s and 10’s…high highs and low lows. We get a little addicted to the drama…so figure out if you’re actually missing a person, or all the “noise” that person brought to the table
  2. Remove Reminders–maybe you combined households, or maybe your Facebook profile picture still includes the two of you. Well, it’s time to clean house. Make no apologies, don’t worry about what people think, just get rid of it. And no, he doesn’t need to come to your house to pick it up.
  3. Fill your time–re-learn how to fill your time with positive experiences. Remember, you’re likely used to the very low, or the crazy manic. You may need to re-calibrate and learn how to function at a 5.
  4. Be pro-social–many times, toxic relationships cut us off from support groups or even family. Proactively reach out to friends and family who can help you re-calibrate and re-set. Don’t wait to be invited, arrange your own get-togethers if needed.

Segment #2

  1. Let go of the negative beliefs that held you back in the first place–You didn’t deserve it, and you do matter…but toxic relationships can make you feel very much like those things are not true. You do deserve better, and it wasn’t your fault. When people treat you badly, that is a reflection of who they are, not who you are.
  2. Get physical–we can’t say this enough…and science backs us up. Get moving. Take a walk with the dogs, hit the gym, take a yoga class. You’ll release some endorphins, get in better shape, and the clarity of mind a hard workout brings is often just the thing needed to break free of old thought patterns and habits.
  3. Recognize red flags early–when you feel like you might be ready to date again (if your toxic relationship was romantic), look out for the red flags you missed last time around. Be careful of repeating old behaviors and thought patterns. This might require much more honesty than you’re used to doling out for yourself or your date…but it also might save you some heartache.


Final Thoughts:

#1 Hold strong to what you know to be true–it often seems to be the case that just when you think you’re ready to move on, the toxic person shows up again. Refuse to get sucked back in and remind yourself about why things weren’t working before. Call a trusted friend if you need to…but be true to yourself and what you know to be healthy and good.


  • Elijah’s Thoughts
  • Sarah’s Thoughts
    • “slot machine syndrome”


In Closing

If you have a question, comment, or funny story about [INSERT SHOW TOPIC] we have a private SafeSpace on facebook where we talk about all sorts of social, professional, and romantic relationship topics, and after every show you can go there and share you story, get some advice from great people or just hang out. Both Sarah and I are there every day and you can be there too, just go to www.relationspodcast.com/join and click the “Join Now’ button.

Until we meet again, keep striving to make every relationship you have the best it can possibly be, including (and especially) the one with yourself. We’ll talk soon.






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