0078 – How to Authentically Compliment Someone During a First Conversation (Meeting People Part 4)


People like compliments, but how do you appropriately compliment someone that you just met?

Describe the problem

…She’s cute, she’s actually talking to you, and you want to say something to her that shows you’re interested. But how do you give her a genuine compliment without coming across as cheesy, insincere, or worse…creepy? In this episode, we’ll teach you how to get beyond the obvious or quick compliments to the words and phrases that she’ll remember long after that first conversation.


Segment #1

  1. Sexual – People will tell you that there’s no place for these types of compliments in casual conversation, but you’ve got to get here eventually. Some people don’t get the gist until you explicitly tell them that you want their personal parts. Right. Now.
  2. Ambiguous – Was that a compliment, or a diss? They’re not sure, and you might not be either. A double meaning can sometimes get you slapped, and sometimes get them thinking just enough to want to learn more. Proceed with caution.
  3. Inappropriate compliment – This is non sexual, but still weird. They might get your point, but there’s not really a ton of great places to go after you compliment how they handled their parents funeral…
  4. Good Job – Did they accomplish a goal they had been working on for a while? This compliment highlights that accomplishment and gives them the pat on the back that they might appreciate more than you think.

Segment #2

  1. Envious – Some people like to be noticed for their uniqueness. Did they do something that they know others can’t? Can they do something that others can’t? Giving props for this will let them humble gloat like they always wanted to, and open them up for more conversation.
  2. Brave/Tough – Did they make it through a rough situation that you can chat about. acknowledge their fight through something tough will make them more comfortable talking about tough things in the future. There’s no sense fighting so hard, if nobody acknowledges you as the winner.
  3. Creative – Is something that they did, said, really unique? Did they do something in a way that you wouldn’t have thought of? Let them know that their approach to thinking is something to be admired. They may not be able to tell you how they did it, but they’ll appreciate that you like them for their actual uniqueness.
  4. Show me – The best compliment you can pay to someone is to want to learn from them. Whether it’s how to make the perfect pancake, or how to fold an origami frog, allowing them to teach you something that they have mastered will give you numerous conversation opportunities. Just make it something a little harder than, tying your shoes, ok?


Final Thoughts:

  • Elijah’s Thoughts
  • Sarah’s Thoughts



In Closing

If you have a question, comment, or funny story about [INSERT SHOW TOPIC] you can send us an email at elijah@relationspodcast.com. You can also follow us on Twitter at “Haverelations”, find us on facebook at facebook.com/haverelations. I’m @elijahryoung on Twitter, my amazing co-host (and author of “How to be Dumped: The definitive Breakup Guide” is @sarahJStorer on Twitter and this show’s notes and soon, it’s transcription, will be at our home base, relationspodcast.com/[ShowNumber], and don’t forget to subscribe to the Get the Gal, or Get the Guy mini course in the sidebar!


Now go forth and continue to relate better to one another. We’ll talk soon.

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