By the end of this episode:
- 8 Tips for meeting your online date for the first time
Describe the problem
…You’ve exchanged messages, flirted a bit over text, and you think there could be a good connection here…it’s time to meet. When going from online to offline, however, it’s easy to see a lot of that chemistry dissipate quickly. Learn how to Ace that first meeting with your online date in Episode 108: Meeting Your Online Date.
Segment #1
- No Dinner, No Movie – Committing to dinner or even lunch means you’ll have to stick around for at least an hour or two, depending on where you’re dining. That means if your date is not at all what you expected, waiting around for a server to bring your food, going through the motions of apps, drinks and dinner and then waiting for the bill can all be a pretty torturous process. Instead, go for coffee in the late afternoon or evening — something that leaves the opportunity for continuing the date if you want to, but bowing out won’t be a huge statement either.
- Meet in Public – Remember, even though you’ve had conversation after conversation with this person, you’ve still never met them and it’s really easy for someone to pretend to be someone else when they are on the computer. So – make sure that you are meeting in a public place and even bring someone with you. They don’t have to stay the whole time, but you want to be safe.
- Have a Drink – Some dating pros highly recommend a stiff one — cocktail, that is. At the risk of promoting debauchery, we’d have to agree. (Starbucks hardly sets the scene for seduction.) A dimly lit lounge, plush sofa, $10 Cosmo — now that’s amore. Even if an Irish pub is more your thing, a nice buzz nips nervousness and brings out one’s inner flirt. Good stuff.
- Keep it Short – Later on, marathon dates are fine, but close encounters of the first time should be fast and flexible. “It’s like an audition,” notes one experienced dating diva. In a way, she’s right: The first meeting is about establishing a rapport and seeing if there’s chemistry. For the most part, it’s either there or it isn’t — and nothing’s worse than sitting through a four-course dinner with a dud (except also following it up with a movie). And hey, if it clicks, prior plans have a magical way of falling through at the last minute.
Segment #2
- Dress for the Part – Your wow-’em window is seriously small, and — superficial or not — clownish makeup and grubby sneakers rarely win admirers. Dress like yourself (fakers are always found out eventually), just kick it up a notch.
- Be Present – Nobody likes to talk to a corpse. Leave all issues and baggage at the door and give your full attention to the person in front of you. You’d want the same done for you, right?
- Tell someone where you are – After all, you’ve never met this person before, and the internet is an unpredictable place. Always meet in a public location and tell someone where you are. Then you’ll feel more safe, and you’ll have someone to call and vent to after the date if it goes horribly awry. This is really important. A failed online date can be either depressing or really hilarious. It’s all about how you look at it at the end of the day. Having a pal to laugh about it with will always ensure it’s the latter.
Final Thoughts:
#1 Bring Cash – In case you need to make a quick and clean getaway, having cash on hand lets you throw down your half of the bill and then jet. Looking for an ATM at bill time or waiting around for a server to bring the debit machine won’t be fun if all you’re thinking about is getting home to watch Boardwalk Empire with your dog and a bowl of popcorn.
- Elijah’s Thoughts
- Sarah’s Thoughts
In Closing
If you have a question, comment, or funny story about [INSERT SHOW TOPIC] we have a private SafeSpace on facebook where we talk about all sorts of social, professional, and romantic relationship topics, and after every show you can go there and share you story, get some advice from great people or just hang out. Both Sarah and I are there every day and you can be there too, just go to www.relationspodcast.com/join and click the “Join Now’ button.
Until we meet again, keep striving to make every relationship you have the best it can possibly be, including the one with yourself. We’ll talk soon.
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