Lies we tell ourselves in or out of relationships (inspired by an article on Cracked)
By the end of this episode:
- you’ll learn 7 of the biggest lies we tell ourselves
Describe the problem
Part of self-growth is about being honest with ourselves. But before we can be honest, we have to get past the lies we tell ourselves.
Segment #1
- “I’m just ‘too nice’”–this is a lie often uttered by dudes who believe that their niceness is transactional, so when women don’t respond the way they believe they “should” it’s the other person’s responsibility for not accepting the “niceness” rather than, “you lose yourself completely when trying to woo people”
- “I’m totally fine with…”–you’re not fine. You’re jealous, or worried, or you hate that she talks to her ex-boyfriend. While there’s something to be said for working on jealousy or insecurity issues, fixing an issue starts with honestly acknowledging what triggers the issue.
- “Buying a house/having a kid/getting married will fix us…” Nope. No it won’t. Huh uh.
- “If only _____ would happen, I could have_____” –you’d finally do that thing if you had more time, or you’d start that business plan if you only had more money, or you’d start on that new career path if someone only recognized your talent, or you’d get out there and start meeting people if you just had a friend to go with you. Well, friends…ain’t no time like the present…and no one can do it but you.
Segment #2
- “If I just say or do____, he/she will change” You’re right, people CAN change, but change begins with the individual, and you can be super nice and accommodating, or you can nag, or you can put aside your own ish as much as you’d like, but if the other person isn’t willing/capable of changing right now…you’re likely SOL
- “I’m too old/I’ve missed my window/if only I were younger…” The media would like us to believe that only the young can accomplish their dreams, but there is no better time to be just the age you are and go after what you want. Ain’t no time limit on sweat.
- “I can’t live without…”–yes you can. There are actually very few things you NEED in a given day, and that dude/woman who treats you like shit isn’t one of them.
Final Thoughts:
#1 “I can’t change…” Can’t, or won’t?
- Elijah’s Thoughts
- Sarah’s Thoughts
In Closing
If you have a question, comment, or funny story about [INSERT SHOW TOPIC] we have a private SafeSpace on facebook where we talk about all sorts of social, professional, and romantic relationship topics, and after every show you can go there and share you story, get some advice from great people or just hang out. Both Sarah and I are there every day and you can be there too, just go to www.relationspodcast.com/join and click the “Join Now’ button.
Until we meet again, keep striving to make every relationship you have the best it can possibly be, including (and especially) the one with yourself. We’ll talk soon.
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