0084 – 8 Slightly Innovative Ways to Overhaul Your Online Dating Experience (For the Better)


Learn to enhance your online profile to find love in the new year.

Teaser Bullets

by the end of this episode you’ll learn:

  • the one photo you should have as your profile picture
  • the type of photo you should never use
  • the one tip that even surprised Sarah

Describe the problem

So you’re already a pro at online dating. Or maybe you’re looking to do something new for 2014 and meet the love of your life. But staring at that blank (or old) profile can be intimidating. In this episode, we’ll share the 8 tips that can take your profile from boring to soaring.

Segment #1

    • 8. Re-frame your Attitude–Please, for the love of God, have fun! Sure, this is tip #8, but it’s also foundational to online dating. If you’re not having fun, don’t do it. In fact, I bet you can very quickly and easily tell which people on those sites are NOT having fun…they’re the jerks that get mad when you don’t respond right away, or the ones who put so many disqualifiers in their profile it’s almost like they DON’T want to meet anyone. Hmmm…
    • 7. Limit Your Messages and Chats–Not to be crass, but you don’t want to blow your conversation load all at once. If there’s someone who intrigues you, time to meet.
    • 6. Enhance your Photo strategy–Limit your number of photos to 4 or 5 that show the range of who you are. Show at least one of you having a BLAST doing something, and test our profile photo as a full body shot.
      • Why Full Body? From HuffPo, Top 5 Tips for Online Dating in the New Year: “Be sure that Mr. Demille’s closeup is not just of your face but your whole body. Individuals who use full body shots as their primary shots are 203 percent more likely to receive unsolicited messages and 33 percent more likely to receive responses to sent messages. “
    • 5. Do What Your Competition Isn’t…For women, that probably means you need to proactively seek out men and send out lots more messages. For men, it means you need to find a way to send more intriguing or better messages than “hey” (or winks/flirts/likes…), “you’re beautiful,” or “let’s get dinner”…all messages that have a statistically proven lower response rate.

Segment #2


    • 4. Show, Don’t Tell: In wordsmithing, this means that saying “you like to have fun” or that “sometimes you like to go out, but sometimes you like to stay in” isn’t, well, saying anything at all. So “show” through words (or audio or video, if the site allows) what fun means to you.
    • 3. Respond to everyone. Yes. Everyone. Even a copy+paste of “Thanks for the message, but I don’t think we’re a match. Good luck in your search!” is a polite way of letting someone off the hook, you generally won’t get one of those follow-up messages two weeks later, and, if the site tracks it, you’ll show that you’re a high responder to messages, making people more likely to message you to begin with.
    • 2. Yet another photo tip: NO SELFIES, especially if you’re a dude. Statistics show that “Men who post a selfie receive eight percent fewer unsolicited messages and 6 percent fewer response messages.” Not to mention men who have 3 or 4 or more selfies on their profiles…


Final Thoughts:


Number One Tip: Use a Call to Action. (Shout out to listener Eric!)


  • Elijah’s Thoughts
  • Sarah’s Thoughts


In Closing

If you have a question, comment, or funny story about [INSERT SHOW TOPIC] you can send us an email at elijah@relationspodcast.com. You can also follow us on Twitter at “Haverelations”, find us on facebook at facebook.com/haverelations. I’m @elijahryoung on Twitter, my amazing co-host (and author of “How to be Dumped: The definitive Breakup Guide” is @sarahJStorer on Twitter and this show’s notes and soon, it’s transcription, will be at our home base, relationspodcast.com/[ShowNumber], and don’t forget to subscribe to the Get the Gal, or Get the Guy mini course in the sidebar!

Now go forth and continue to relate better to one another. We’ll talk soon.

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