How do you extend a conversation with someone that you just met? What do you say, after you introduce yourself?
Describe the problem
…So you’ve both said hello in one way or another. Maybe you’ve made this person smile or laugh, or maybe he or she at least hasn’t given you the clear, “I’m not interested,” signal. Except, now that you’re past the initial approach, what comes next? What if you can’t think of anything to say, or worse, what if you hit one of those awkward silences? In this episode, we’ll teach you how to have an extended conversation with someone you just met…and we promise, it’ll be a skill you can take far beyond the bar or club.
Segment #1
- Don’t say anything – Don’t scoff, silence is much more powerful than many of us think. Not every quiet moment needs to be filled with your voice, and a nice dose of silence can be a test of interest from your new friend.
- Ask about work – What do you do? Everyone is ready and capable of answering that question, unless they’re unemployed or hate their job. Be careful of being too predictable because, yes, everyone asks that question.
- Give a genuine compliment – Sometimes it’s best to warm someone up by making them smile. few things work quite as well as a genuine compliment.
- Ask about travels, experiences – Where have you been? What have you done? People choose their travel and life experiences based on what they like, so it’s a good bet that you’ll stumble upon a good conversation by finding out where they’ve been in life. Every place or experience can lead to a full conversation by itself, so take some time and smell the roses in each topic.
Segment #2
- Ask about their hobbies – Hobbies, things we’d love to get paid to do. Find out what people do in their spare time, and you’ll have a key to the things they really want to talk about, even to a stranger. Be warned, you might be there for a while if you find something they’re really passionate about.
- Ask for advice – You’re not the only person who’s gone through stuff, and your solutions aren’t the only ones on the planet. Getting another perspective, even on a problem that you’ve already solved for yourself can be a great way to get people to open up to you.
- Create a hypothetical – “What would you do if…” is a great way to get someone out of ‘normal boring conversation’ mode. Ask about situations that you wouldn’t normally find yourself in, just nothing too creepy, ok?
- Co-Create Something – Co-creating something with someone new guarantees that you’ll do two things. 1. You’ll be original, and 2. no one will ever duplicate that exact experience with your new friend. The best way to be remembered is to create a new memory. Give it a shot!
Final Thoughts:
- Elijah’s Thoughts
- Sarah’s Thoughts
In Closing
If you have a question, comment, or funny story about [INSERT SHOW TOPIC] you can send us an email at elijah@relationspodcast.com. You can also follow us on Twitter at “Haverelations”, find us on facebook at facebook.com/haverelations. I’m @elijahryoung on Twitter, my amazing co-host (and author of “How to be Dumped: The definitive Breakup Guide” is @sarahJStorer on Twitter and this show’s notes and soon, it’s transcription, will be at our home base, relationspodcast.com/[ShowNumber], and don’t forget to subscribe to the Get the Gal, or Get the Guy mini course in the sidebar!
Now go forth and continue to relate better to one another. We’ll talk soon.
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