We’ll talk about how to spice up your relationship after the flame starts to die out.
Teaser Bullets
by the end of this episode you’ll learn:
- Why does the relationship fire ‘die down”
- How do you re-ignite the flame of a mature relationship
- What are some tips to avoid losing that spark in the first place
Describe the problem
The early days are easy. You want to be around each other all the time, can’t keep your hands off one another, and shower each other with love and affection just because. Somewhere along the way, for some couples, the excitement of the relationship starts to die down and both parties kind of seem to ‘exist’ around each other instead of fully experiencing their time together. Is this just a natural part of being in a relationship, or is there really a way to keep a relationship ‘fresh’ forever, and never need to re-ignite the flame?
Segment #1
- Why does the relationship fire ‘die down”
- LovePanky.com | 15 Reasons Why You’re Bored With Your Relationship
- Emotional affairs. You may be having an emotional affair with a good friend or even a colleague at work, and not even know it! Do you find it easier to talk about your work or your personal problems with someone else but not with your partner? Unless you open up to your partner and communicate with them, you’d always feel disconnected and bored.
- Better opportunities. Everywhere you look around, you see better dating potentials. You like your partner a lot, but somewhere deep inside, you feel like you’ve got the short end of the stick and deserve someone better.
- The daily routine. Your relationship is a boring routine. It’s completely predictable, and you know exactly what you’re going to do with each other every day of the week. When love starts to get monotonous, some of us can’t help but feel stifled like we’re stuck in a locked room.
- Communication. Do you ever get tired of trying to explain something to your partner because it takes too long to go into all the details? This is exactly how couples lose communication in a relationship. They’re too bored to talk about the little things because they feel like it’s unimportant. But in reality, it’s the little things that actually count.
- Annoying partners. Do you find some details about your partner’s behavior annoying, be it their clumsiness or their laziness? Learn to communicate. Even the smallest issues grow out of proportion with time. It’s like a snowball rolling down a hill. Unless you confront it, it rolls all the way to the end, getting bigger with every roll.
- LovePanky.com | 15 Reasons Why You’re Bored With Your Relationship
CTA for list subscription:
To get a weekly link to all of the bonus content, show notes, and interviews with relationship experts simply go to www.relationspodcast.com/subscribe and we’ll send you one email a week with links to everything so you can stay up to date, and we can continue to relate!
Segment #2
- How do you re-ignite the flame of a mature relationship
- EcoSalon.com | 7 Relationship Tips for Fresh Ways to Spice Up Your Love Life
- Get Formal
- You might be comfortable enough with each other to lazy around all weekend in your pajamas eating ice cream out of the carton (and that kind of comfort is pure bliss), but change it up with a formal date night. Dress to the nines like you did when you were first courting. Reserve a table at that special restaurant you’ve always wanted to try. Tapas is a great cuisine choice because you share all the dishes. It’s not about sticking your face in your own plate, but talking and coming up with mutual orders to share. Plus, it won’t hurt to add a relaxing glass of wine or two.
- Create New Memories Together – As you continue to live life side by side, don’t forget to create new memories together. Go outdoors, take a walk, swim or plan a simple getaway. Be sure not to over plan; let the enjoyment of time away do the work. Remember: The more you give, the more you receive.
- EcoSalon.com | 7 Relationship Tips for Fresh Ways to Spice Up Your Love Life
- What are some tips to avoid losing that spark in the first place
- PrettyProvidence.com | How to Ensure Your Marriage Will Get Better with Age
- Don’t keep score. Marriage is not a game. It’s not a contest either. So why are we inclined to keep a mental tally of who is ahead? If you notice yourself checking a mental scoreboard when you do something to benefit your spouse, chances are your heart is not in the right place and you probably aren’t even noticing all the things he does for you and your family.
- Forgive immediately. I remember one night saying something so mean to him in a hormonal frenzy and running up the stairs to our room. I am a proud person, and even though I knew even as the encounter happened that I was in the wrong, it was still hard to make myself go downstairs and apologize. I remember getting up my courage and finally going down. No sooner had a tearful “I’m sorry” escaped my lips than my husband had swept me up into his arms and told me it was okay, and how much he loved me.
- Don’t ever talk negatively about your spouse to others, especially your parents. If you and your spouse are having an issue or disagreement (and we all face them), it should stay between you. Complaining about your spouse to your mom not only doesn’t solve anything, but is a breach of trust and sews seeds of worry and dislike of your spouse in your parents and friends. Write in a journal, talk to God, talk to your spouse, and sincerely try to deal with the issue on your own. If you still struggle, consider consulting a councilor or ecclesiastical leader. Once you’re past the problem, you will be glad you didn’t tell the whole world about it, and so will your spouse.
- Serve your spouse. All relationships have peaks and valleys. It’s totally normal to have times that are particularly good and times when things are just static. During times when I feel static and not head over heels in love, I ask myself “what have I done for him lately?” “What am I doing to make this relationship fresh and exciting?” “What am I doing to make him love me more?” Try to do something special. Write a love note, clean his car, set up a date, or simply look into his eyes and tell him you love him so much. It’s amazing how when I change the way I treat him, it automatically changes how I feel about our relationship.
- Set goals together. You are a team and it helps to have common goals. Talk about your hopes and dreams and then set about to work hard and realize them. As you work and sacrifice toward the same things it will bring you closer together and neither partner will feel like they are “doing it alone.”
- PrettyProvidence.com | How to Ensure Your Marriage Will Get Better with Age
CTA for list subscription:
To get a weekly link to all of the bonus content, show notes, and interviews with relationship experts simply go to www.relationspodcast.com/subscribe and we’ll send you one email a week with links to everything so you can stay up to date, and we can continue to relate!
Final Thoughts:
- Elijah’s Thoughts
- Sarah’s Thoughts
In Closing
In closing, on behalf of my fantastic co-host, Sarah J. Storer, author of “How to be Dumped: The Definitive Breakup Guide” I want to thank you for spending time with us today, now let’s continue the conversation at relationspodcast.com/48 and:
Final Question:
What’s something you’ve done in a past or present relationship to ‘spice things up’?
Tell us about it in the comment section and let’s see if we can’t continue to relate to one another. We’ll talk soon.
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