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We’re talking about how to succeed at speed dating. Can you really find love in under 10 minutes?
Teaser Bullets
by the end of this episode you’ll learn:
- What is Speed Dating?
- Does speed dating work?
- Tips to conquer speed dating?
- Common Speed dating mistakes?
Describe the problem
While some of us thrive under pressure, most of us hate the idea of feeling rushed to do something, even little things. So it’s no surprise that many people scoff at the idea of speed dating. Can you really do something as important as finding your next ‘boo thang’ in under 10 minutes? Is this for real, or just another dating scam? And most importantly, how do you get everyone in attendance to check your name on their little card?
Segment #1
- What is Speed Dating?
- Definition
- an organized social activity in which people seeking romantic relationships have a series of short conversations with potential partners in order to determine whether there is mutual interest.
- AskMen | The Benefits Of Speed Dating
- With speed dating, you can meet single women who fit your criteria. Obviously, you should be honest about your own specifics like age, education level, religion, ethnicity, your ideal woman and what have you.
- After you complete the questionnaire, you’re invited to a get-together with 10 to 20 women that match your said requirements. How does it sound so far?
- Once there, you get to spend approximately 7 minutes with each woman (no pickup lines or too much time spent with Miss Wrong) and exchange your ideas on whatever you want to talk about.
- At evening’s end, you fill out a report that specifies which women you’d like to see again and if the women you choose are interested in you, an exchange of numbers takes place.
- Host Banter on the subject
- Definition
- Does speed dating work?
- Yahoo Voices | Is Speed Dating Worth Your Time?
- Dr. Scott Barry Kaufman, cognitive psychologist and writer, also discusses speed dating and whether it is a waste of time or not. Based on his own experiences as well as studies and research done on the topic, Kaufman has found that the when looking at the types of people who attend speed-dating events, both genders were found to be looking for a potential long-term partner.
- Putting the findings in perspective, researchers have converted the time and money spent on these speed dating events to see the value. For calculation purposes, each event costs about $40 and lasts 3 hours. With this in mind as well as past research on speed dating, it could cost an individual up to 75 hours and about $1,000 to find a relationship partner.
- HowStuffWorks | How Speed Dating Works
- But do the rules of attraction still apply in speed dating? University of Pennsylvania psychologists examined more than 10,000 client responses from Hurry Date’s database and found that in the context of a speed date, the usual rules of attraction go out the window. Factors like religious affiliation and earning potential — usually viewed as very important in dating — are replaced by behavioral cues. These cues provide the basis of attraction in a setting where time is of the essence and split-second decisions are made.
- Yahoo Voices | Is Speed Dating Worth Your Time?
Tell us how you feel about speed dating? Does it work? You can also post your comments on our Facebook page at www.facebook.com/haverelations.
Get the show notes, links to all of the articles discussed in the show, and cool stuff we don’t talk about on the show sent right to your email. www.relationspodcast.com/subscribe
Segment #2
- Tips to conquer speed dating?
- YourTango.com | 6 Tips For A Successful Speed Dating Experience
- Show Up Early – Try to show up at least 20-30 minutes earlier than the event start time. This will give you some time to register, get familiar with the venue and mingle around. This is also perfect opportunity for you to get to know the event hosts and ask questions. Building a relationship with your event hosts can be of huge value if you are truly on the hunt for a new relationship. If your hosts know the type of person you are looking for, we may be able to point you in the right direction by initiating pre-event introductions with other participants.
- Reset Yourself Before Each Mini-Date – Just like any date, you should go in with an open mind and make an effort. Try not to let the events of the last date, good or bad, influence the direction of the next one. Give your attention to your current date and use it as an opportunity to engage each other and get a feel for them. Base your level of attraction on your date’s presentation.
- Fastlife.com | SPEED DATING TIPS FOR WOMEN
- Give Clear Signals – Men are notoriously bad at interpreting signals from women. Know what you want when you flirt and make sure your signals are clear and that they convey what you mean. If you genuinely want to meet people then by all means flirt, just make sure you know how to separate the sexual flirting signals from the ‘hi, I’m friendly’ flirting signals.
- Ask Him What He Enjoys Doing – Women and men often tend to fall back on the line ‘What do you do’? To some men, this can smack of ‘checking for wallet-padding’. Not everyone is doing work they love and the question may put them on the spot. Men are much more activity orientated than women. Asking them what they enjoy doing in their life will allow you to find out more about what makes them tick.
- SuccessWithWomen.info | Speed Dating Tips for Men
- Make eye contact! That’s right, make sure when you engage in the conversation you look her in the eyes and not glance away too often. If you do glance away too often she will perceive this action as being weak and thus judge you as lacking in confidence. Seriously not good!
- Watch your posture! Because the night may drag on a for a couple of hours where you will be sitting at a table for most of that time make sure you watch your “sitting posture”. A lot of men have a tendency to slump in a chair instead of sitting upright. The way to cure this is to always be aware of your posture and make it a priority throughout the night!
- YourTango.com | 6 Tips For A Successful Speed Dating Experience
- Common Speed dating mistakes?
- AskMen | Speed Dating Tips
- Don’t line up your dates – If you’re lucky enough to get a few matches following your speed-dating night, be sure to start with one date and schedule the others afterward. Sixty percent of girls go speed dating with friends (90% of guys go alone), so if you accidentally try to line up three BFFs the Friday, Saturday and Sunday after the event, they will not be impressed, and you’ll be back to square one.
- Don’t be creepy – You won’t mean to be, but it will come off that way if you ask, as date No. 4 did with me, “What is a girl like you doing at speed dating?” If you try to get her contact details and ask what street she lives on or suggest meeting up afterward, she’ll be rubbed the wrong way. The system dictates that you discreetly mark the “yes” box and if the other person does the same, you will be provided with their contact details. Don’t push it.
- Don’t elaborate your weak points – You have five minutes to sell yourself. Don’t talk, as my date No. 9 did, about how you lost your job, can’t find work and have had to move in with your grandparents. Don’t mention ex-girlfriends, bad breakups or the fact that your family forced you to go to speed dating to get you out of the house because you’ve been pretty depressed recently.
- Don’t Ask the usual questions – Most speed dating nights have an average of 20 to 30 people from each sex. If you’re near the end of the line, the bored woman in front of you has already repeated the story of where she comes from and what she does for a living for the past two hours. Start with something you can steer out of the mundane — topics along the lines of travel, dreams for the future or childhood memories.
- AskMen | Speed Dating Tips
Tell us about your best speed dating tip! You can also post your comments on our Twitter page at www.twitter.com/haverelations.
Get the show notes, links to all of the articles discussed in the show, and cool stuff we don’t talk about on the show sent right to your email. www.relationspodcast.com/subscribe
Final Thoughts:
- Elijah’s Thoughts
- Don’t forget to have fun
- Go with the flow, not with a script
- Forget quickly
- Sarah’s Thoughts
In Closing
In closing, on behalf of my fantastic co-host, Sarah J. Storer, author of “How to be Dumped: The Definitive Breakup Guide” I want to thank you for spending time with us today, now let’s continue the conversation at relationspodcast.com/43 and:
Final Comment:
Tell us a funny or interesting story about a time that you went speed dating.
Tell us about it in the comment section and let’s see if we can’t continue to relate to one another. We’ll talk soon.
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