0042 – Should You Date Your Long Time Friend?

SEO Show Description

We’re figuring out how to turn best friends, into lovers, and if that’s even something that you should try to do.

Teaser Bullets

by the end of this episode you’ll learn:

  • How you can tell that your long time friend might be interested in you
  • How to bring up a relationship to a long term friend
  • Tips for dating a long term friend
  • Mistakes to avoid hurting the friendship

Describe the problem

Hmm well let’s see… I’m not in a relationship, but my BestFriend and I have been friends for 3 years. He’s in Europe playing professional basketball and I’m in California finishing up school. We’ve been talking about meeting up and traveling after I’m done with school and maybe even living together. Everyone thinks we’re together but we really aren’t “boyfriend/ girlfriend” yet. But we do act like if we are in a relationship. He’s pretty much doing his thing and so am I . So I’m a little confused. We went from seeing each other every day during college to now talking on Facebook every day and we skype once every month. Once he left I came to a conclusion that I really love him and miss him more every single day!

Marquetta from California

Segment #1

  • How you can tell that your long time friend might be interested in you
    • HowtoAttractMen-guide.com
    • FridayDating
      • http://www.fridaydating.com/2013/10/i-want-to-date-my-friend-should-i-ask.html
        • 1. You both enjoy spending lots of time together and never seem to get enough of each other.
        • 2. Both of you find yourselves staring at each other for long periods of time but don’t say how you feel about each other romantically.
        • 3. You both spend almost everyday with each other and you feel like that no day is complete without spending time together.
        • 4. Both of you feel butterflies inside when you see each other and are very anxious and happy to be together.
        • 5. You and your friend think about each other all the time.  You both find that you say each others names all the time. You even sometimes complete each others sentences.
  • How to bring up a relationship to a long term friend
    • ItsYourTechnique.com
      • http://itsyourtechnique.com/2013/08/24/how-to-tell-him-youd-like-to-be-more-than-friends/
        • For example, if a woman wanted to to make sure that her male friend knew that she was open to being more than friends she could say:
        • “I just want you to know that I love spending time with you. Of all my male friends you are the one I would want to date. However, I believe that you see me as just a friend and I’m okay with that too. If I’m wrong and you are interested let me know. Otherwise, I will continue to assume that we’re just friends.”
        • She should then change the subject, act happy, playful, and confident, and say good night with confidence so that he doesn’t feel pressured to say something just to make her feel okay.
    • Host Opinions


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Segment #2

  • Tips for dating a long term friend
    • LovePanky.com
      • http://www.lovepanky.com/flirting-flings/dating-game/how-to-date-a-friend-dating
        • Get touchy feely
        • Getting someone to like you, be it a friend or a stranger, is all about playing your cards right. You can take a plunge, but there’s no going back if your crush declines your advances. So it’s always better to play it safe, send out the right signals and wait for the ball to roll downhill.
        • You’ve warmed your friend up and you’ve started flirting, so now it’s time to start getting touchy feely.
        • Don’t ever paw your friend or cling onto their arm. Be graceful in your touches, and do it only at the appropriate moment. Never linger your touch longer than required and always do it purposefully and delicately.
  • Mistakes to avoid hurting the friendship
    • ASoundMatch.com (How to close itif it doesn’t work)
      • http://asoundmatch.com/blog/how-to-say-it-a-long-time-friend-now-wants-more/
        • The Opener:
        • “When you suggested that we explore a romantic relationship, I was excited about it. I was immediately intrigued and wondered if maybe we are meant to be together. After all, you are sexy and handsome and considerate and kind and … [obviously, fill this in as appropriate].”
        • You are one of the most important people in my life and I want us to be in each other’s lives always. Our relationship is more meaningful to me than you may know.”
        • Get In It:
        • “I can feel your passion for me and I wish more than anything that I could return it to you. Believe me, I wish my body would respond the way I want it to. It feels like the universe if playing a cruel joke on me because I want us to be together. For so long you have felt like family to me, and I can’t seem to get past feeling that you are my brother rather than my lover.”
        • Close It:
        • “I will be crushed if you withdraw from me. I don’t want anything between us to change. I am really glad we explored the possibility … and now we know. I love you so much and I hope we both can look at this as a little adventure. Is there anything more I can tell you? Is there anything more you’d like to say about it?”

 You can also post your comments on our Twitter page at  www.twitter.com/haverelations.


Final Thoughts:

  • Elijah’s Thoughts
  • Sarah’s Thoughts

In Closing

In closing, on behalf of my fantastic co-host, Sarah J. Storer, author of “How to be Dumped: The Definitive Breakup Guide” I want to thank you for spending time with us today, now let’s continue the conversation at relationspodcast.com/[ShowNumber] and:


Final Question:

Can you have a successful long term relationship from a friendship?

Tell us about it in the comment section and let’s see if we can’t continue to relate to one another. We’ll talk soon.

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