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What do you do when you’re in love with more than one person at once? How do you figure out the best solution, while breaking the fewest hearts possible.
Teaser Bullets
by the end of this episode you’ll learn:
- Can you be in love with two people at the same time?
- Should you have to choose one person? If so, how do you decide?
- How to avoid hurting someone you care about
Describe the problem
I think you should talk about being in love with two people at once and what to do and the best way to handle it (tips etc)…
I am going through that right now. I dated someone for a long time and we broke things off (long story) but we still have deep feelings for each other. During the year we have not been together, I started dating someone else and fell for him (I wouldn’t necessarily say as deeply as for my ex). I ultimately decided I could not be in a relationship with either until I figure out what is best for me. But truth is, I don’t even know where to start? Any tips? Suggestions? What’s right? What’s wrong?
Segment #1
- Can you be in love with two people at the same time?
- Johnny Depp
- “if you love two people at the same time, choose the second. Because if you really loved the first one, you wouldn’t have fallen for the second.”
- LovePanky.com
- Are You in Love with Two People?
- Falling in love with two people and holding both of them close to your bosom is not as easy as it sounds. At the same time, love is not and has never been a once in a lifetime experience. You fall in love with different people in different ways. And at times, you end up feeling romantically excited towards two different people at the same time.
- While falling in love with someone is inevitable, it’s still in your control to pursue it or let it go. If you really want to, you can avoid falling in love with a second person by simply taking a step back and putting a stop to the flirty conversations and the sneaky dates. The feelings of love and lust may linger for a while and fade away, and the best part is that it won’t emotionally confuse and torment you.
- Are You in Love with Two People?
- 2KnowMyself.com
- Is it possible to love two people at once
- Going for the inferior option – This is one of the most popular reasons that make people love two persons at the same time. Some people get married to the best catch they find and not to the person who can really satisfy their important needs.
- If you really wanted to drink grape juice but found nothing other than water then you might drink water in order to quench your thirst but Later on if you came across the grape juice you wanted earlier you will quickly realize that you didn’t want water at all.
- Is it possible to love two people at once
- Johnny Depp
CTA for listener input:
Call or text 508 444 2003 to tell us about Do you think it’s possible to be in love with two people at the same time? You can also post your comments on our Facebook page at www.facebook.com/haverelations.
(:30)BREAK – Elijah’s Mini-Course Promo (added during editing)
Segment #2
- Should you have to choose one person? If so, how do you decide?
- Note: Researched “How to choose between two people” and the results were overwhelmingly about women needing to choose between two men. What do you think this means?
- Match.com
- http://www.match.com/magazine/article/12438/Torn-Between-Two-Lovers
- Notice how you feel about yourself when you’re around each prospect– Different people bring out different parts of your personality when you’re around them. This gets amplified even more when you’re dating two people at once. It’s striking to notice the changes in yourself when you’re around one person versus the other. “The first clue is to pay attention to those differences in how you feel about yourself when you’re around each person,” says Dr. Ish Major, a psychiatrist and author of Little White Whys: A Woman’s Guide Through the Lies Men Tell and Why. “Ask yourself the following questions: Which one makes me feel more alive? Which one makes me feel more comfortable? Which one makes me feel more my true self when we’re together? Which one do I feel more sexually in tune with? Which one makes me feel like the person I believe myself to be?” Ultimately, you want to find someone who not only lets you be yourself, but who also brings out your best qualities when you’re with each other before committing to dating that person exclusively
- http://www.match.com/magazine/article/12438/Torn-Between-Two-Lovers
- How to avoid hurting someone you care about
- How About We.com
- http://www.howaboutwe.com/date-report/the-dos-and-donts-of-choosing-between-people-you-love/
- DON’T Keep Seeing Them While You’re Making a Decision – Space is important. It would be impossible to choose between two people you already love if you keep seeing them. When you take time apart, you get clarity and you remember all the good things and the bad things. When you keep seeing someone you’ll keep being reminded of how much you’ll miss them. Just take a few days to yourself. Plus, you’ll feel much less pressured to make a choice if you’re not constantly talking to the two people in question.
- DO Remember, There Is No Right Or Wrong – Is there a possibility that one person is REALLY wrong for you? Of course there is. That’s why you talk to your friends, who will gladly smack you over the head with that fact. But in most cases, like in Schmidt’s case, you would be happy ending up with either of them. Keep that in mind. This is not a “right” vs “wrong” scenario. They’re just different, and they probably make you happy in different ways. So, stop thinking so much. Stop worrying about regret. Chances are, you will have nothing to regret, no matter who you choose.
- DON’T Think You Can Keep Everyone Happy – You’re going to hurt one of these people who you love. Love hurts sometimes, it’s a fact of life. There is no way around it.
- Don’t be afraid to tell the truth – Once you choose, don’t wait. Just do it. Rip the band-aid. The longer it takes, the harder it is going to be for both of you. When you string people along, it’s easier for you, sure. But it hurts them a hell of a lot worse in the long run. So have a proper breakup. If you love them as much as you think you do, show them the respect they deserve and break their heart as soon as possible.
- http://www.howaboutwe.com/date-report/the-dos-and-donts-of-choosing-between-people-you-love/
- How About We.com
Call or text 508 444 2003 to tell us about Give us your best advice for navigating between two hearts. You can also post your comments on our Twitter page at www.twitter.com/haverelations.
(:30) BREAK – Sarah’s Mini-Course Promo (added during editing)
Final Thoughts:
- Elijah’s Thoughts
- Sarah’s Thoughts
Show Close
In closing, on behalf of my fantastic co-host, Sarah J. Storer, author of “How to be Dumped: The Definitive Breakup Guide” I want to thank you for spending time with us today, now let’s continue the conversation at relationspodcast.com/[ShowNumber] and:
Final Question:
What advice would you give your best friend for choosing between two loves? Or do you think they need to choose at all?
Tell us about it in the comment section and let’s see if we can’t continue to relate to one another. We’ll talk soon.
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