0036 – Interracial Dating (Part 2) – How to Properly Date Outside of Your Race

“In this episode…”

We’re on to Part Two of our Interracial Dating Show. In our first episode, we talked about the facts, stats and misconceptions about interracial dating, and how, at least in the United States, more and more people are dating and marrying people of other races and cultures.

Teaser Bullets

by the end of this episode you’ll learn:

  • if there SHOULD be separate tips for interracial dating in the first place
  • if there should be differences in your approach/flirting for people of another culture
  • Best tips, do’s and don’ts for interracial dating


Describe the problem

…While the number of interracial couples are growing in the US, there are still some misconceptions about how to approach, date and “relate” to people you may be attracted to but are of a different race or culture. So is there a better way to flirt with someone of a different culture? Or are we over-thinking it all to begin with? Find out in Part Two of our Interracial Dating Episode!

Discussion/thought: Do we really need SEPARATE tips for interracial dating?


Remember, outlooks are changing (finally)…two decades ago, fewer than half of Americans approved of interracial marriage, now 65 percent of all Americans support such relationships, and 85 percent of young people do.


Discussion: Do you need to adjust your dating tactics or approach for people of different races?


Jordan Harbinger (Founder of the Art of Charm) | InterracialDatingCentral.com


Interracial Dating Advice to Men: Grow Some Gonads!


“Remember guys, women of a different race and/or culture might be used to a certain kind of overture and they could have totally missed that you have absolutely no interest in the weather or her nails, at least only to the extent that those fingers might end up fondling your hair or create welts on your back. They TOTALLY missed that, because your target girl just thought you were being “nice,” and not coming on to her.

Again, social interaction is heavily influenced by culture.  A lot of times what we’d consider ‘flirting’ with a girl of our own ethnicity might not even ping the radar of a girl from another culture.  For example, direct eye contact and simple conversation can be very forward when speaking to an Asian woman, however, when flirting with a Latina or a Black woman, we need to up the touch a bit in order to keep up.  This has to do with how the members (guys) of their own culture interact with each other (girls).”


Call or text 508 444 2003 to tell us your interracial dating and relationship stories.

Segment #2

On to the tips:


In General…


All Women’s Talk

Ideal Dating Tips for Interracial couples


…have self confidence in yourself and your relationship. You want to believe in your relationship, otherwise why be in it? A relationship should be built on love, not what other people think or say.


Nobody in the world can tell you who to love, no matter what. If you fall in love with someone Asian and you are white, that’s okay! If you fall in love with someone black and you are Indian, that’s okay too! It is not about what color your skin is or where you come from, and don’t ever let anyone tell you that it is.


While you might not understand some of the things that your partner does, because of maybe their religion or because of where they grew up, that doesn’t mean that you have to be awkward about it. If you are dating an Indian and you are white, why not learn a bit about their culture and what makes them do and be the way that they are?

Some Don’ts:

Rishona.net | 10 Pitfalls about Interracial Relationships

#7 – Fetish vs. Attraction. Yes, this is a very real and touchy issue. Today’s society is a “pick and choose” type of place where we are use to having lots of options. Well this type of attitude does not translate very well over into the romantic arena, and yet, many people approach their love life like shopping in a mall. When you are dating, it is especially important to determine how the other person sees you. Are you being seen as a potential mate, or as this person’s next adventure?

Rachel Khona | CupidsPulse.com

Top 5 Don’t Tips for Interracial Dating

  1. Don’t pretend to be culturally enlightened

Some men attempt to use race as a way to prove how culturally enlightened they are. Case in point: As I was writing this article at an airport bar, the bartender asked me what ethnicity I was. When I told him I’m Indian, he responded by saying, “That’s what I thought. I’ve traveled to India quite a bit, so I could tell.”

  1. Don’t stereotype

Regardless of what end of the spectrum these men fell on, they didn’t realize how simple-minded they were showing themselves to truly be. They relied on racial stereotypes.

There’s nothing wrong with talking about race with a woman, but it shouldn’t be the first thing that comes out of your mouth. It should be something that comes up organically in the conversation, not a way to impress her. If you find yourself interested in a woman of another race, whether she is Asian, Latina, or black, get to know her as a person first. Nobody wants to be reduced to a stereotype, and if that’s what you resort to when meeting a woman, you most certainly will not get very far.

The Do’s

Deborrah Carpenter | Interracial Dating Tips: How White Men Can Successfully Date Black Women

Focus on your similarities, not your differences.

Be honest about the issues you have with racism in your family. Will your family be accepting of your choice, or view your interracial relationship as a mere phase to be tolerated? Will they think you are losing your identity and feel threatened that they will lose you next? Be honest with your partner and let them know what they are getting into.


Melissa Noble | Tips on Interracial Dating

Ask Her Out–Attracted to a woman? Ask her out. How novel. Got that fellas?

See Her As a Woman [editors note: or Him as  Man] First–Try to avoid seeing this as some sort of racial science experiment. You’re on a date, remember, with another human being, remember. Relax.


Dave Schilling | Thought Catalog


A Few Words on Interracial Dating


Admit there are things you don’t know–”Chances are, you are not an expert on the culture of your significant other. You’ve never celebrated Kwanzaa, you don’t know what year it is in the Chinese calendar, and the only Irish food you are aware of is whiskey. If you accept that you aren’t a wellspring of knowledge about another culture, you open yourself up to learning those things”


ERY and SJS Tips?

We want to hear from you! Call or text 508 444 2003 to tell us about your interracial dating stories.



…if you want more GOOD advice like this for free, keep listening to this podcast and also visit to grab “How to Get the Guy” or “How to Get the Girl.” It’s a five day course, packed full of great stuff for you to improve your dating life.


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Segment #3

  • Listener Tips

In Closing

In closing, on behalf of myself, Elijah R. Young, and everyone involved in bringing this show to your ears, we hope we’ve made your relationship better today than it was yesterday. Now go forth and relate to one another…we’ll talk soon.

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