0112 – Can Your Sleep Position Predict the Downfall of Your Relationship?


Today we’re talking about your sleeping style with your partner. What does it all mean? Is it BS? Today’s episode features references to Web MD, CanadianLiving.com, and Huffington Post. To see these resources, leave comments, sories, anecdotes, etc, go to our show notes page at relationspodcast.com/112

By the end of this episode:

  • How your sleep position affects you
  • Sleep position examples
  • How couples sleep

Describe the problem

…If you’re like my grandparents, who have been married for 67 years, you still sleep all cuddled up, every single night. But other couples might find they get no sleep at all with their cover-stealing, limb-thrashing bedmates. In this episode, we’re looking at 16 types of sleep positions, and just what they might mean for you and your partner.

Segment #1

  1. A study analyzing six common sleeping positions, including the fetal position and the “log” (lying on your side with both arms parallel to your torso and legs), found that each position is actually linked to a particular personality type. One thing is clear, however. “If you sleep in a bad position, you’re more likely to be grumpy the next day,”
  2. Fetal Position – if you curl up in the fetal position when you sleep, you may be tough on the outside and soft on the inside. According to the research, this was the most common sleeping position; 41% of the 1,000 people in the study slept in the fetal position. More than twice as many women as men tend to adopt this position
  3. The Starfish – And if you know anyone who sleeps on their back with both arms up around the pillow (a.k.a. the “starfish”), you are in luck because such sleepers make good friends. They are always ready to listen and offer help.
  4. The Log – if you sleep like a log, at least positionally, you are typically easy going, sociable, and want to run with the A-list crowd. As a result, however, you may be gullible. People who sleep on their side with both arms out in front can be suspicious and cynical.
  5. Freefall Freefallers like to sleep on their stomachs with heads turned to the side and arms curled near their pillow. Seven per cent of those surveyed said they preferred this position and identified as being sociable and brash, though inwardly nervous and often sensitive to criticism.
  6. Soldier The Soldier Position, lying on your back with both arms straight at your sides, was the first choice for eight per cent of study participants. Character traits for those who prefer this position reflect their disciplined namesake, with sleepers identifying themselves as people who set high expectations for themselves and others, and exhibit a quiet and reserved nature.
  7. Yearner The Yearner is one who sleeps on their side with both arms stretched out in front of them. Thirteen per cent of people surveyed chose this as their favoured sleep position, and identified themselves as having open personalities, but were sometimes prone to suspicion and cynicism. Yearners are also described as slow decision makers, but once the choice is made they stick to it.

Segment #2

  1. Cherish – back to back but touching (18%) This couple are comfortable, intimate and relaxed with each other. A popular position in a new relationship.
  2. Liberty – back to back but not touching (28%) This couple feel connected whilst independent enough to sleep separately. They are used to each other and accept each other’s sleeping habits.
  3. Pillow talk – Face to face (7%) This position represents an intimate need for one-to-one contact and conversation in bed
  4. The Lovers – face to face with legs intertwined all night (4%) This is love’s young dream position where you cannot bear to be separated as each moment together counts. A position for the born romantics.
  5. Spoons – male spoons with the female on the inside (13%) This is a traditional position, in which the male takes the lead and protects his lover. Couples sleep side-by-side each curled up with each other in the foetal position. Traditional spooning is the most common position adopted by couples during the first few years of their relationship or marriage. It shows both a strong sexuality and feeling of security in the relationship.
  6. Spoons – spoons with the female on the outside (5%) Spoons – Female
  7. Spoons with the female on the outside (5%) In this position the female takes the lead and protects her man while he is sleeping.
  8. The Romantic – woman lying with head and arm on man’s chest (1%) This is the popular Hollywood movie bed scene position. An intimate pose much favoured in a new relationship or after love making. It represents new / rekindled love.
  9. Superman – man lying in star fish position with woman hanging off the bed (1%) In this position the male is king of the bed, he likes to have his way and the female is happy to oblige.
  10. Superwoman – Woman lying in star fish position with man hanging off the bed (1%) The woman rules the bed in this position, she likes her space and the man takes a secondary role and lets her take it.


Final Thoughts:

  • Elijah’s Thoughts
  • Sarah’s Thoughts




In Closing

If you have a question, comment, or funny story about [INSERT SHOW TOPIC] we have a private SafeSpace on facebook where we talk about all sorts of social, professional, and romantic relationship topics, and after every show you can go there and share you story, get some advice from great people or just hang out. Both Sarah and I are there every day and you can be there too, just go to www.relationspodcast.com/join and click the “Join Now’ button.


Until we meet again, keep striving to make every relationship you have the best it can possibly be, including (and especially) the one with yourself. We’ll talk soon.


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