0102 – CompReligious


It’s compatibility week and today we’re talking about compatibility with faith and religion.

By the end of this episode:

  • you’ll learn how to find religious compatibility
  • how to work through your relationship if something changes spiritually
  • the number one tip for couples seeking religious compatibility

Describe the problem

Religion, spirituality and faith (or lack thereof) are all things we are lucky to be able to find deeply personal. Faith plays a huge part in many people’s lives, and many people even grew up with faith as a part of their culture or upbringing. For some, the issue of religious compatibility is actually a non-issue…you either see eye to eye, or you don’t. For others, however, it holds varying degrees of importance. So how do you know if you’re compatible with someone in this area, and what do you do if you’re already together and things change for one of you spiritually? Find out in episode…


Segment #1

How to find religious compatibility

  1. 8. Know up front how important it is to you–for some people, this is an easy one, but for others, you might not know how important it is until you date someone who is in church every time the doors are open.
  2. 7. Bring it up early–Sure, they say religion and politics are things you should never mention on a first date, but if this is a part of your life that’s important to you, it’s okay to talk about it a bit (ESPECIALLY if you’re particularly devout and are looking for certain specifics or “levels.”)
  3. 6. Experience a service, session or outing with your new boo’s religious group or congregation–still not sure your partner’s religion is your jam? Go see what all the fuss is about. Even if you don’t agree with everything he or she believes, maybe you can enjoy how their religion plays out in every day life.
  4. 5. Decide if you’re comfortable practicing (or not practicing) alone–So maybe you will just never understand each other’s brand of spirituality…are you good with having your religion be your “thing”?

Segment #2

What to do if you’re struggling with this area of compatibility in your relationship

  1. 4. Remember it’s personal–maybe one of you converted in the course of your relationship, or one of you lost your religion. Remember that faith (or non-faith) is a very personal decision, so when approaching a conversation, take ‘er easy
  2. 3.  Listen to concerns–it may very well be that your partner truly believes that in-compatibility in this area could be sinful or have eternal consequences. Or maybe it’s much less dire than that, and your partner just doesn’t believe that your cats have souls. Either way, listen and try to understand, and see how you can adjust your own viewpoint to be more in harmony with your boo
  3. 2. Find what you have in common–Maybe you don’t understand your partner’s beliefs, but maybe you both agree on social justice issues, or caring for the elderly, or even just have a very strong sense of family. You might not pray like your partner, but maybe you can both find something spiritual about donating time at the local soup kitchen.


Final Thoughts:

#1. Remember why you are together in the first place

Yes, religion is a very important personal choice for people, but maybe that’s not why you fell in love in the first place…and maybe those reasons are actually quite compatible with your beliefs.

  • Elijah’s Thoughts
  • Sarah’s Thoughts


Show Close

If you have a question, comment, or funny story about [INSERT SHOW TOPIC] we have a private SafeSpace on facebook where we talk about all sorts of social, professional, and romantic relationship topics, and after every show you can go there and share you story, get some advice from great people or just hang out. Both Sarah and I are there every day and you can be there too, just go to www.relationspodcast.com/join and click the “Join Now’ button.


Until we meet again, keep striving to make every relationship you have the best it can possibly be, including the one with yourself. We’ll talk soon.

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