0082 – 4 Reasons Why Your Parents Hate The Person You’re Dating

What you do when your partners parents hate you?

Teaser Bullets

by the end of this episode you’ll learn:

  • Why parents hate your mate
  • How to deal with a dad
  • Dealing with a mean mom
  • Big mistakes you can make with your partners parents

Describe the problem

…In an ideal world, the love of your life, and the people who raised you should all love each other in a reflective way of how much you love them. Unfortunately, in some cases, it just doesn’t work that way. Your mom hates your new girlfriend, or your dad thinks your boyfriend just isn’t good enough for you. Why might your parents be acting this way, and what can you do to fix things? Find out, after the break.

Segment #1

  • Why parents hate your mate
    • Motherboard.Vice.com | Your Parents Hate Your Boyfriend Because of Evolution
      • A team of researchers from the University of Bristol and University of Groningen suggest that conflict between parents and children over the latter’s chosen mates might be a consequence of something as seemingly far-removed as resource allocation. Noting that these sort of conflicts occur across cultures—though certainly in some more than others—they inferred that mate choice is probably evolutionarily significant and therefore a potential source of tension.
      • “In general, evolution favors parents who give more resources to daughters whose partners are less supportive,” Fawcett explained. “This opens up the parents to a sort of ‘exploitation’ by the daughters—they can afford to choose a partner who is less supportive than the parents would ideally like because their parents will pick up the slack.”
    • Crowd Theories | The Mom that Hates Your Girlfriend
      • Most moms know what it feels like to not be liked by their mother-in-laws when they were young (and even when they were just the girlfriend). But before they even knew what it was like to be a mother themselves, they couldn’t have predicted the bond they will be forming with their sons later in life, whether good or bad. They can think that they don’t baby their son(s) as much as other say they do, but really, they do, and it’s a problem that leads to not being able to let go.
  • 5 reasons Why your parents hate your partner
    • They’re Intolerant
      • Maybe your parents are racist, maybe that hate your “alternative” lifestyle, or maybe they’re royalty who disapprove of you dating a street rat…if that’s the case, look in the mirror, you might be co-starring in Aladdin. If your paren’t are just plain intolerant of your partner because they suck as people, then you have to put your foot down with them, and (more importantly) have your partners back when you’re all together.

[message break]


Segment #2

  • 4.) You paint your partner in a negative light
    • Think fast, what’s state are you in when you talk about your partner to your parents? Are you fresh off a fight? Do they only hear about your partner when you guys are loudly fighting on the phone during family dinner? Think about the picture you’re painting of your partner, because people watching from the outside will take their cues from you if they don’t know yet have an opinion of your partner.
  • 3.) Your partner sucks as a person (or has in the past)
    • Is your partner abusive, physically or emotionally? Are they a freeloader who strains your budget while you struggle to make ends meet? Your parents automatically hate anything that makes life harder for the zygote they cultivated into an adult, and that’s not a character flaw.
  • 2.) It’s really about you.
    • This could be interpreted a couple of ways: maybe you are the one who sucks and your parents are trying to keep your partner away from the mess that is their child. Or maybe, they just think that nobody is good enough for their baby, and that’s adorable. Even still, you should tell them to cut that shit out because it’s messing up your grown-up groove.


Final Thoughts:

  • Elijah’s Thoughts
  • Sarah’s Thoughts


In Closing

In closing, on behalf of my fantastic co-host, Sarah J. Storer, author of “How to be Dumped: The Definitive Breakup Guide” I want to thank you for spending time with us today, now let’s continue the conversation at relationspodcast.com/[ShowNumber] and:


Final Question:

[Create a question based on the total show, or a quirky incident that happened during recording]?


Tell us about it in the comment section and let’s see if we can’t continue to relate to one another. We’ll talk soon.


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