0081 – 4 Ways to Reconnect and Rekindle and Old Friendship

How do we reconnect with that old friend that we were really close with, when time and life has allowed us to drift away?

Teaser Bullets

by the end of this episode you’ll learn:

  • 4 Mindsets to rekindling a friendship
  • 4 Actions You can take to rekindle a friendship

Describe the problem

…In college, you two were inseparable. You told each other everything, spent every weekend together…and then one day, the friendship cooled. Maybe you just got busy, or your life circumstances changed, or maybe there was an actual rift in the friendship. Either way, you’re at the point where you’re missing that person in your life, and want to get back at least part of the friendship you had before. So how do you do it? In this episode, we’ll teach you how to rekindle that friendship you’re missing.


Segment #1

  • 4 Mindsets to rekindling a friendship
    • Unvelope | Rekindling a Lost Relationship
    • 4.) Don’t Be Confrontational – “Why didn’t you call me?” “You fell off” “Man, what’s wrong with you?” While it was probably cool to be this abrupt when you two were extra buddy-buddy, it’s been a while, and your friend might have evolved in their life situation, andin their personality. Both of you drifted apart, and you both had the chance to avoid that. Own up to your side and don’t dump of them, or else this wont work at all.
    • 3.) Be Honest About Your Intentions and Limitations – Why do you really want to get back together? What do you really miss? More importantly, canyou really get all of that back now, in this period of your life, or are you just being nostalgic. One of the worst things you can do is live in the past and chase a collection of experiences that your life and personalities may not be able to support again. Focus on what you can do now instead.
    • 2.) Go Slow – You’re not going to go from, “What’s your husband’s name?” to sharing intimate details in just one call. Know that each contact with your old friend is an investment, just like the first time you two became friends. Also respect the fact that they might not have the same amount of time to invest as you, and that has to be ok if you really want to be friends.
    • 1.) Understand That This Will Be Hard Work – Have you ever tried to make friends as an adult? It’s hard as hell! People already have their friends that support the life that they have, so be ready to make some concessions to fit into their new life, and don’t expect them to just jump back into the “good old times”. As we get older, making friends is a skill that diminishes, so keep at it if you want it to be the best it can be.


Segment #2

  • 4 Actions You can take to rekindle a friendship
    • 4.) Connect on a social network – Duh, Facebook? Twitter? Insta-tube their Tumblr if you need to! People are as reachable as they’ve ever been and there are plenty of entry points for you to access (heyo!). Sometimes a friend is only as close as a simple, “Hey, missed you!” message. What do you have to lose?
    • 3.) Send a Handwritten Note – If you think the internet is a fad, or are just really jealous of the penmanship of the Civil war Era, you can physically write a note in some font called “cursive” and send it via human express to your friends home. Since people only check their mailboxes once every 6 weeks now, this might take a while, but the sentiment will be appreciated.
    • 2.) Be Spontaneously Kind – We live in a world where we live past people every day, but rarely interact with many of them, long less act kind to them. Remember something that your former friend loves and do it for them out of the blue. Nothing changes the way someone feels about you than a random act of kindness, from the heart.
    • 1.) Create a New experience – Why did you two become friends in the first place? Probably because you two experienced some “firsts” together. College? New Social Club? Shared a first time in prison? Either way, if shared experiences create bonds, why not create some new bonds. While memories are nice, you can’t help but to get excited around someone when you believe that the best is yet to come.


Final Thoughts:

  • Elijah’s Thoughts
  • Sarah’s Thoughts


Listener Mail!!!


Show Close

If you have a question, comment, or funny story about [INSERT SHOW TOPIC] you can send us an email at elijah@relationspodcast.com. You can also follow us on Twitter at “Haverelations”, find us on facebook at facebook.com/haverelations. I’m @elijahryoung on Twitter, my amazing co-host (and author of “How to be Dumped: The definitive Breakup Guide” is @sarahJStorer on Twitter and this show’s notes and soon, it’s transcription, will be at our home base, relationspodcast.com/[ShowNumber], and don’t forget to subscribe to the Get the Gal, or Get the Guy mini course in the sidebar!

Now go forth and continue to relate better to one another. We’ll talk soon.

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