0076 – Techniques for Approaching Strangers


What are some actual ways that you can approach someone you don’t know?

Describe the problem

…You see him at the coffee shop every Tuesday, or you catch her eye across the bar. You want to say hi or have a conversation, but you can’t think of anything to say…and in the meantime, your covert glances are turning into creepy stares. So how do you start a conversation with someone you don’t know? Won’t they think you’re crazy for approaching a stranger? In this episode, we’ll teach you how to start a conversation with well, anyone, and use it your advantage to finally have a conversation with that hottie with the latte.

Segment #1

  • 8.) Email/Tweet/Facebook Them First – It’s easier than looking them in the face. sending someone a simple message telling them that you’d like to connect, and why, is a completely normal way to introduce yourself to someone in today’s society.
  • 7.) Send them a Fedex/Snail Mail Letter – Guess what people don’t do anymore…write letters. This may work more for business clients more than personal relationships, but people are more excited to get physical mail these days than email. Give it a shot. Protip: people open ANYTHING in a FedEx or UPS priority envelope. This technique got a young woman a face to face meeting with Steve Jobs, why can’t it work for you?
  • 6.) Create Some Canned Openers – Have a topic that you can just kill? A conversation that you know is your jam? Great, why not use your strengths? This person doesn’t know that you’ve used this 4 times this week.
  • 5.) Use a Pick Up Line or Joke – Corny as they may be, these things work like gangbusters. Remember, all you need to do to start a conversation is to actually start one. Once the line is done and the connection is made, then you’re in and you can decide where to go from there.

Segment #2

  • 4.) Give a Compliment – Compliments make people smile. Making people smile is an easy way to make them more apt to communicate with you more. Learn the lessons of Pavlov and grease the wheels by giving a genuine compliment to your target. Worst case scenario, you get a smile. Not a bad consolation prize at all.
  • 3.) Use Current Events/Situation to Your Advantage – In this world, stuff happens, and people feel some kind of way about that stuff. They can’t wait to tell their friends about how they feel, in fact, they’ll usually tell anyone. Be that outlet that they need, and if something’s happening in a place that you’re both in, talk about that. Addressing the elephant in the room is a great way to start a conversation.
  • 2.) Ask a question/opinion – Questions are the best ‘new friend lure’ that you can ever use. Asking a question both eases the pressure on your to perform, and allows the other person to share something they already have knowledge about while continuing the conversation for both of you. Just make sure to keep the question open ended so you can keep the party going.
  • 1.) Be direct – I saw you. I was interested. I came over to learn more. Being direct and to the point is both respectful to the other person’s time and intellect. Unfortunately it’s almost NEVER used in the wild, which makes it especially effective. People tend to like people who know what they want, so give honesty a shot, you might like the results.


Final Thoughts:

  • Elijah’s Thoughts
  • Sarah’s Thoughts


In Closing

If you have a question, comment, or funny story about [INSERT SHOW TOPIC] you can send us an email at elijah@relationspodcast.com. You can also follow us on Twitter at “Haverelations”, find us on facebook at facebook.com/haverelations. I’m @elijahryoung on Twitter, my amazing co-host (and author of “How to be Dumped: The definitive Breakup Guide” is @sarahJStorer on Twitter and this show’s notes and soon, it’s transcription, will be at our home base, relationspodcast.com/[ShowNumber], and don’t forget to subscribe to the Get the Gal, or Get the Guy mini course in the sidebar!

Now go forth and continue to relate better to one another. We’ll talk soon.

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