0069 – What to do When Your Partners Pet Hates You


How do you deal with dating someone who has pets…that you hate.

Teaser Bullets

by the end of this episode you’ll learn:

  • Pets and relationships
  • Can a pet kill a relationship?
  • Why you should date a dog owner
  • Tips for handling a hateful pet

Describe the problem

Segment #1

  • Pets and relationships
    • Smarty Pets | Do You Love Your Pet More Than Your Partner?
      • Treating pets as family members is certainly not uncommon. But some people might find it shocking that some women love their animal more than their partner. And, 41% these women not only don’t feel guilty about it, half of them indicated if their partner didn’t get along with their pet, it would be a deal-breaker!
      • The poll, which was taken by Brooke, an animal welfare organization, also showed almost one-third of pet owners love their pets as much as their partner. Pets don’t talk back or complain about a messy house, so it isn’t surprising that 40% feel their pet is never annoying.
      • One of the reasons we love our pets is because of the attention we receive from them. Roughly 39% of these women acknowledge their affection for their pet increases when their partner’s affection decreases.
    • CSB Philadelphia |  Survey: For Some Women, It’s Pets Over Partners
      • “Pets can’t answer back with sarcastic comments or moan about the state of the house so it’s easy to have a blissful relationship with a pet, which can’t always been said of human relationships,” a spokesperson for Brooke said.
    • THought Catalog | I Hate Your Dog
      • What I’m saying is: your dog doesn’t love you. It’s displaying what biologists call “opportunistic, manipulative behavior.” It doesn’t feel happy, sad, guilty, loyal, or sentimental; you’re merely anthropomorphizing its behavior. What you understand as emotion is cold adaptive instinct formed over 15,000 years. You’re being a dumb idiot, lady. I mean, did you think All Dogs Go To Heaven was a documentary? Air Bud would’ve left Josh for the mean clown in a heartbeat if the clown had a bag of beef in its pocket because it’s a dog, and dogs care about food, not people.
  • Can a pet kill a relationship?
    • THe Date Report | Can Pets Kill a Relationship? Here Are a Few That Might
      • A woman who said that her husband’s cat used to selectively destroy everything she bought, from coats to couches. (The husband eventually relented and put the cat up for adoption.)
      • A woman who went on a first date with a man who showed up with a boa constrictor around his neck; miraculously, she didn’t mind this, and even thought it was cute when the snake took a liking to her — but she got spooked at the end of the night when it wouldn’t leave her alone, and she thought it might be trying to strangle her.

Segment #2

  • Why you should date a dog owner
    • Care2.com |  11 Reasons You Should Date a Dog Owner
      • They’re thoughtful – When you own a pet, you’re no longer just thinking for yourself. You have to be keenly aware of someone else’s wants and needs. For many pet parents, a specific whimper, growl or stance can signal a specific problem or need. Someone who has learned to be so attuned to her pups behavior will most likely transfer those skills to her human relationships.
  • Tips for handling a hateful pet
    • Dogster | My Dogs Are Serious Cuddle-Blockers in Bed!
      • Schedule cuddle time – Mariellen is onto something with designating the morning for cuddle time with Sim. I’ve found that my big boy Major loves morning cuddles, too. Max is more of a 24/7 snuggler. But if I’m consistent about a schedule, he relents –- most times -– and stays on his own bed until he’s invited up.  
    • Cat Behavior Associates | What to do When the Cat Hates Your New Spouse
      • The Way to a Cat’s Heart is Through Her Stomach – Have your spouse be the one who prepares the cat’s food and serves it. Kitty may not feel comfortable eating with your spouse in the room but the scent of your spouse on the food bowl will be a start toward your cat associating good things with the presence of this new person.
    • SavannahNow | Solving relationship problems caused by pets
      • Telling your partner how you feel about the family pet sleeping in the bed. Explain how your sleep is interrupted and your concerns about the dog interfering with the intimacy between you both. It is important that you both agree on who sleeps where and this includes the family pet.
      • Don’t make threats to your partner. Demanding that the other one change a value important to them can increase conflict. Everyone has different values due to their upbringing and life experiences. Having a dog is obviously important to your boyfriend. Requiring him to give his friend away will only build anger and resentment against you.
      • • Talk to your boyfriend about your feelings regarding his dog and offer solutions to the problems other than for him to get rid of his dog. Listen to how he feels and then together come up with a solution you both can live with.

Final Thoughts:

  • Elijah’s Thoughts
  • Sarah’s Thoughts


In Closing

In closing, on behalf of my fantastic co-host, Sarah J. Storer, author of “How to be Dumped: The Definitive Breakup Guide” I want to thank you for spending time with us today, now let’s continue the conversation at relationspodcast.com/[ShowNumber] and:


Final Question:

[Create a question based on the total show, or a quirky incident that happened during recording]?

Tell us about it in the comment section and let’s see if we can’t continue to relate to one another. We’ll talk soon.

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