0068 – How to Avoid F***ing Up a Proposal

How do you find a way to say, “I do”?

Teaser Bullets

by the end of this episode you’ll learn:

  • The history of proposals
  • Can women propose
  • Proposal mistakes
  • Top proposal tips

Describe the problem

So it’s time to pop the question. How do you do it? Plan for months, or just go with the moment? However you do it, it’s bound to be one of the most memorable days of your life. Learn more about how you can prepare in this episode.

Segment #1

  • Can women propose
    • Mean Girls Magazine | Should You Propose to a Man
      •  A part of me admirers a woman who has enough, shall I say, balls to ask a man to be her husband. I’ve always believed that if you want something, you shouldn’t be afraid to go after it, well…to an extent.  Another part of me believes that we should let a man be a man. Maybe proposing is taking what should come naturally to a man, away from him. Since I was on the fence with this, I asked a few women and men what they think about women proposing.
      • The man’s man – “If a woman were to propose to me, it would come off as a little desperate and clingy. Or either, she’s trying to force my hand and sneakily give me some type of ultimatum. A man knows when he wants the woman in his life to be his wife. To avoid the awkwardness, let him ask. It’s our duty as men.”
      • The liberal woman– “Go for it! It’s nothing wrong with asking the man you love to be your husband, but before doing so, you should know what he thinks about marriage and if he’s even ready.  You have to be prepared for his uncertainty or if he says flat out, no! This can be a tough position to be in. This attempt is not for the sensitive.”
      • The prideful man – “If my woman should ask me for my hand in marriage, this would seriously be a shot to my ego. I mean, how does she look at me as a man? Does she look at me as spineless or submissive? What’s next, hyphenating my last name?”
      • The traditional woman – “Oh, hell no!  In my opinion this is a man’s job. The reason why women are more aggressive in our relationships than we care to be is because there are too many men out here that’s in their second childhood. It seems they will never grow up, because the [women] in their lives are not allowing them to. A grown ass man should know exactly what wants. If he wants a wife, then he should go shopping for a nice ring, get down on one knee, and ask her properly.”
      • The new age man – “I can’t say that I wouldn’t be a little taken aback, but I would be extremely flattered that she even put aside what society believes to ask me to be her husband. That takes a lot of courage, love, and confidence. That’s sexy!”

Segment #2

  • Proposal mistakes
    • Nue Diamonds | Five Mistakes Made When Proposing (And How to Fix Them)
      • The Engagement Ring – The number one mistake made when proposing is not having an engagement ring. Sure they can be expensive if you go the typical route and buy a $5,000 + engagement ring. But think about the option of a lab created diamond alternative for under $900. Pocket the savings and propose with a high end setting and lab created gemstone. This is literally the answer to most men’s money woes and helps the woman feel confident about her gorgeous setting and decent sized stone. Far too often men wait to save up thousands of dollars for an engagement ring or, worse, purchase it on credit. With diamond simulants in gorgeous platinum or gold settings, you can’t go wrong and will be able to propose with confidence (and a ring!)
    • Shaadi Times | 9 Marriage Proposal Mistakes
      • Proposing Electronically – She may have accepted your first date request over SMS and the two of you might be communicating on your blackberries or facebook walls. But that’s different. A marriage proposal has to be done in person. There’s no two ways about that. If there’s distance involved, and you really cannot travel there, a phone call or an internet based web-cam call is your next best option.   
    • Marriage Secrets | 5 Mistakes About Marriage Proposals
      • “OVER-DOING” THE PROPOSAL – Some men’s idea of an amazing proposal is slapping together all the “usual” romantic things into one big event and calling it a “marriage proposal.” Sadly, this couldn’t be further from the truth. For example: A man serves the candlelit dinner, presents her flowers, chocolates, a teddy bear and then proposes to her.
      • Yuck. I’m sorry, but if you believe your lady deserves the most magnificent experience of her life, then understand that normal “everyday romance” is only good for… everyday romance! Not a proposal. She’ll never admit it, but she’ll most likely be disappointed.
  • Top proposal tips
    • Quick and Dirty Tips | Marriage Proposal Etiquette
      • Show the Love – Proposing is supposed to be romantic. That doesn’t mean it has to be big, over the top, or insanely expensive, but it does have to be from the heart. You earn no points for trying to act like this is not a big deal. When proposing, broaden the limits of your comfort zone and express how you really feel. After all, you don’t want the person you are proposing to think that this is a burden for you. Shout it! Scream it! Get down tonight.


Final Thoughts:

  • Elijah’s Thoughts
  • Sarah’s Thoughts


In Closing

In closing, on behalf of my fantastic co-host, Sarah J. Storer, author of “How to be Dumped: The Definitive Breakup Guide” I want to thank you for spending time with us today, now let’s continue the conversation at relationspodcast.com/[ShowNumber] and:


Final Question:

[Create a question based on the total show, or a quirky incident that happened during recording]?

Tell us about it in the comment section and let’s see if we can’t continue to relate to one another. We’ll talk soon.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *