Author: Judah E

Show Intro

I am Elijah R Young, I’m here with Sarah J. Storer and this is Relations: The Podcast, the on-demand radio show giving you better relationships, and more importantly, helping you become a better person to be in a relationship with…In today’s show:

 

Show Description

What are some of the signs that the person you’re hanging out with, just wants your body, and nothing else? This is a combination of conversations on SheKnows.com, AllWomenStalk.com, and BaggageReclaim.co.uk.

 

By the end of this episode:

• 9 Signs that they just want sex

 

Describe the problem

…You really dig him or her, there’s definitely an attraction…might this move from groovin’ over you to groovin’ on you and more? Well, maybe…and maybe the new object of your affection only wants to keep it strictly (bedroom) bidness. That’s okay, but how do you know the signs ahead of time? And how can you both get the most fun out of the situation?

 



Segment #1

1. Invitation to nowhere – He never invites you to go out with him – his friend’s birthday party, his work happy hour, not even a lackluster dinner and a movie. Bottom line: “Dates” are always cozy nights in. Why? Because that is the easiest place to, you guessed it… have sex.
2. Time’s up! – You spend just enough time together for a little foreplay, sex and maybe a nap. Unless there’s time and desire for a round two, a sex-only motivated man will bolt like a thief in the night before you even have time to turn over on his side.
3. Sexy speak – You two speak one language: Sex. And that’s it. If you think hard about it, you may know everything about how he likes “it” but you have no clue where his parents live, what he wanted to be when he grew up, the food that makes him gag, and if he has a middle name.
4. Weekday lovers – If your guy seems to always be MIA during the weekends, this is a clear sign that he is reserving weekends for someone else on his literal to-do list, or keeping his options open to meet other women.  

 

[message break]

 



Segment #2

1. They tell you – Talk about stating the obvious but, have you any idea how many women are actually told by a guy that they just want to have ‘fun’ and aren’t looking for a relationship? When a man says this, instead of rationalising and hoping that he will change his mind after the event, don’t and move on.
2. They try to do more than a kiss on the first date – No matter how great the sparks are between you both, generally speaking, guys that really do like you can keep their penis in their pants and their hands above board for at least one evening….
3. They Avoid You In Public – You see them and you know they saw you and they turn away. It’s Just Sex.
4. You Initiate All Communication – If it’s not about sex, all communication is likely to come from you. Are you the only one suggesting dates? Are you the only one who tries to start a real conversation when the two of you are together?

[message break]

 



Final Thoughts:

#1 They don’t care if they hurt your feelings – If you get visibly upset about the lack of communication or closeness between you two and doesn’t care, he probably doesn’t care about you, either.

 

• Elijah’s Thoughts
• Sarah’s Thoughts

 

Show recap

Listener Mail

 

Show Close

If you have a question, comment, or funny story about [INSERT SHOW TOPIC] we have a private SafeSpace on facebook where we talk about all sorts of social, professional, and romantic relationship topics, and after every show you can go there and share you story, get some advice from great people or just hang out. Both Sarah and I are there every day and you can be there too, just go to www.relationspodcast.com/join and click the “Join Now’ button.

 

Until we meet again, keep striving to make every relationship you have the best it can possibly be, including (and especially) the one with yourself. We’ll talk soon.

 

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Show Intro

I am Elijah R Young, I’m here with Sarah J. Storer and this is Relations: The Podcast, the on-demand radio show giving you better relationships, and more importantly, helping you become a better person to be in a relationship with…In today’s show:

 

Show Description

What are some of the characteristics of a true friendship? What signs can you look for to know that your friend is in for the long haul? This show is an extension of a conversation on THought Catalog in an article titled, “25 Signs Someone is a Real, True Friend”, by Christopher Hudspeth

 

By the end of this episode:

• 9 Signs that your friend is a keeper

 

Describe the problem

…After leaving high school or the easy built-in camaraderie of college, making friends–true friends–can prove to be a challenge. Friendships can often be as messy and as complicated as romantic relationships, especially the ones that last for a lifetime. How do you know if someone is a true friend? And how do you know if you’re a true friend in return? Find out in today’s episode, “Signs of a True Friendship.”

 



Segment #1

1. They don’t make you feel like a horrible person for passing on invitations because you have to do things important to your education, career or the betterment of yourself in general. Sketchy is the friend who legitimately bashes you for choosing work over play.
2. Much like with family members, you can go extended stretches of weeks or months without talking and hanging out consistently, yet there’s no doubts about your relationship. Schedules get busy, circumstances arise, but your friendship remains fully intact.
3. They’ve helped you move. (If they help you move during the summer, they’re the realest friend, and you better buy them some type of friendship ring or at least the 2 for $20 at Chili’s.)
4. If someone slings their name through the mud, you take offense, interrupt and kill any bashing immediately – and they’ll do the exact same for you.

 

[message break]

 



Segment #2

1. When a friend knows painful information (e.g. your crush hates the way your face looks), they’ll tell you. Maybe slightly modified to soften the blow, but they won’t leave you in the dark with false hopes, or headed down a disastrous path.
2. Even when involved in relationships, they don’t fall off the grid or blow your friendship off entirely. Yes, new love commands a lot of attention but don’t pull an Andy from Toy Story and just straight up neglect your clique.
3. Rarely do you discover anything about what’s going on with them on social networks. You don’t need Facebook to tell you it’s their birthday, or Instagram to see who they were with and where they went last night.
4. They don’t let you do anything stupid – at least not by yourself. If you wind up hammered, singing the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air theme song solo on karaoke night, reevaluate the friendships of everyone you were with that night. Someone should’ve intervened or started to sing.

[message break]

 



Final Thoughts:

#1 There are silences, but they don’t feel the least bit uncomfortable or awkward. If you can sit down and shut up with a person, never feeling obligated to fill that hushed void, you’ve got a special connection.

 

• Elijah’s Thoughts
• Sarah’s Thoughts

 

Show recap

Listener Mail

 

Show Close

If you have a question, comment, or funny story about [INSERT SHOW TOPIC] we have a private SafeSpace on facebook where we talk about all sorts of social, professional, and romantic relationship topics, and after every show you can go there and share you story, get some advice from great people or just hang out. Both Sarah and I are there every day and you can be there too, just go to www.relationspodcast.com/join and click the “Join Now’ button.

 

Until we meet again, keep striving to make every relationship you have the best it can possibly be, including (and especially) the one with yourself. We’ll talk soon.

 

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Show Intro

I am Elijah R Young, I’m here with Sarah J. Storer and this is Relations: The Podcast, the on-demand radio show giving you better relationships, and more importantly, helping you become a better person to be in a relationship with…In today’s show:

 

Show Description

Today we look at some signs that you might want to take some more time to yourself and avoid getting back into a relationship. This show is an extension of a conversation started on Natural News in an article titled, “10 signs you are NOT ready for a happy relationship”, by Mike Bundrant

 

By the end of this episode:

• 8 Signs You’re Not Ready To Date Again

 

Describe the problem

…The echo of that last breakup is still like a gong in your heart. You hear your favorite song, or even see a car that looks like his and your chest drops into your stomach. But you want to “get out there”…how do you know if you’re ready? And is it okay to wade back into the waters if you’re not?

 



Segment #1

1. Blame, defend. Blame, defend – Something goes wrong. What’s your first instinct? For many of us, it is to blame someone or something outside ourselves. This may be human nature in action. It is the next step that really kills relationships. After initially blaming, you set up a fortress of psychological defenses to cement the blame in place. Acting defensively automatically turns your partner into an enemy. It’s hard to feel close to an enemy. If your initial reaction is to blame, then put all of your efforts on letting go of defensiveness, coming around and acting like a team player.
2. You think of the other as your possession – You’re in a relationship, so you introduce the others as: my wife, my husband, my girlfriend, my partner, and so on. Using my or mine in the sense of ownership is risky business in relationships. You are my husband, so you have to do what I say. You are my wife, so you have to put up with me. I own you, so you have to cooperate.
3. Agree, stab in back. Agree, stab in back – Ah, the passive aggressive…You think you want to avoid conflict, so you agree with whatever your partner says. Then, you do whatever you originally had in mind.
4. You think your friends are more important – Putting friends and social life in front of your primary relationship is a common way to avoid relationship problems – and intimacy, too. Social butterflies, both men and women, sometimes need to learn that making a romantic commitment means letting go of other commitments. Refusing to scale back your social life in favor of an intimate partnership may mean that you aren’t ready.

 

[message break]

 



Segment #2

1. You are a self-centered, petty, sociopathic narcissist – Romantic partnership is sharing a life together. Sharing a life means sharing stuff, sharing time, sharing emotions, sharing responsibility. It will involve some sacrifice of your individual desires. That sacrifice should pay dividends, as the two of you are creating something beyond what either of you could do alone. So, you can’t keep all of your selfish desires satisfied while simultaneously working toward your mutual goals.
2. Lazy-slobbish-disgusting-child syndrome – I don’t know if this syndrome is listed in the DSM-V, but it means that you think it’s funny to pass gas, belch, swear like a sailor, pee on the toilet seat, leave your dirty underwear lying around, chew with your mouth open and generally make a childish nuisance of yourself in front of your partner. You may even think her disgust is cute. It’s not. Her disgust means she actually finds you to be a disgusting person. Next, you’ll want her to make love to you, right? If she does, she might be grossed out by that, too, thinking back on your antics throughout the day while you are getting your thrills at her expense. Clean it up.
3. Whiner! – Things go wrong. What are you going to do? Fix them. Work together and do your best as a team. If you tend to whine like a mule, that will break down your team. Now, in addition to dealing with problems, your partner has the added burden of dealing with a whiner. Whining is a sign of immaturity and it doesn’t serve a purpose in a healthy relationship.

[message break]

 



Final Thoughts:

#1 Martyr! – Emotional martyrs are those who shoulder too much of the burden and refuse to ask for support. This leads you straight into resentment of those around you, who obviously are to callous to lend a helping hand. Again, in relationships, teamwork is the name of the game. Martyrs make teamwork impossible. If you cannot express your needs and give others the chance – and even make demands – then you might not be ready for a healthy relationship.

 

• Elijah’s Thoughts
• Sarah’s Thoughts

 

Show recap

Listener Mail

 

Show Close

If you have a question, comment, or funny story about [INSERT SHOW TOPIC] we have a private SafeSpace on facebook where we talk about all sorts of social, professional, and romantic relationship topics, and after every show you can go there and share you story, get some advice from great people or just hang out. Both Sarah and I are there every day and you can be there too, just go to www.relationspodcast.com/join and click the “Join Now’ button.

 

Until we meet again, keep striving to make every relationship you have the best it can possibly be, including (and especially) the one with yourself. We’ll talk soon.

 

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: RSS

Show Intro

I am Elijah R Young, I’m here with Sarah J. Storer and this is Relations: The Podcast, the on-demand radio show giving you better relationships, and more importantly, helping you become a better person to be in a relationship with…In today’s show:

 

Show Description

How do you know that you’re ready to jump back into dating after a breakup, or long absence from the ‘Dating scene’? Today’s show is an extension of a piece of content on Thought Catalog called “19 Signs You Are Ready For A Relationship”, by Chelsea Fagan.

 

By the end of this episode:

• 10 Signs that it’s time to jump back into the dating game

 

Describe the problem

…It’s been two years, 8 months and 14 days since your last serious relationship. You’ve done the healing you’ve needed to do, gone on some dates, had some fun, and now you think you’re ready to jump back into the crazy game of love. Find out in this episode the sure signs you’re ready to soar.

 



Segment #1

1. You are not still holding onto the remnants of an old relationship, even if that just means occasionally reading old messages because there is still a part of you that wishes you were back in that moment.
2. There is a clear idea in your mind of the qualities you do and do not want in someone, and you have the conviction to say “no” to people with whom you know it won’t work out in the long term.
3. You are fulfilled in your friendships and know that they are a good circle of affirmation for you, because one person can’t be everything you need in your life.
4. When you look at the relationships around you, you have a keen eye for recognizing the things that are and aren’t healthy about them, the things you would want for yourself and the things you’d want to avoid in your own life.
5. For each breakup that you’ve been through, you’re able to look back and, even if you were at fault and you don’t like admitting it, see what went wrong and how it could have been done differently. Whether it was an unforgivable transgression or simple incompatibility, you have the perspective to take real lessons from each ending you’ve gone through.

 

[message break]

 



Segment #2

1. You know that, ultimately, only you are going to know what is right for you in terms of a serious relationship, and if people in your life don’t approve of it, the only thing you can do is be strong in your choice and respectfully decline their unwanted opinion.
2. You accept that relationships for other people don’t always look the same — that it can be more than two people, or reject the idea of marriage, or don’t want children — and realize that other people’s love has no bearing on you and therefore doesn’t need your judgment.
3. You are comfortable being alone, and want to share yourself with someone only because you believe that it can enhance the both of you, not because you believe there is something deficient in you that needs to be compensated for.
4. You have a whole list of adventures that — in addition to the ones you’ve taken on by yourself or with friends — you can’t wait to do with your partner, once you have found each other.

[message break]

 



Final Thoughts:

#1 You realize that it is just that: You find each other. It’s not you searching endlessly for the person who will complete you, because you both have something to give and something to teach, and any relationship that feels like one person is doing the other one a favor is the kind that you don’t want to be in.

 

• Elijah’s Thoughts
• Sarah’s Thoughts
  • “trying”

 

Show recap

Listener Mail

 

Show Close

If you have a question, comment, or funny story about [INSERT SHOW TOPIC] we have a private SafeSpace on facebook where we talk about all sorts of social, professional, and romantic relationship topics, and after every show you can go there and share you story, get some advice from great people or just hang out. Both Sarah and I are there every day and you can be there too, just go to www.relationspodcast.com/join and click the “Join Now’ button.

 

Until we meet again, keep striving to make every relationship you have the best it can possibly be, including (and especially) the one with yourself. We’ll talk soon.

 

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: RSS

Show Intro

I am Elijah R Young, I’m here with Sarah J. Storer and this is Relations: The Podcast, the on-demand radio show giving you better relationships, and more importantly, helping you become a better person to be in a relationship with…In today’s show:

 

Show Description

To turn the tables, why would a man choose to stay single, instead of finding a nice partner to settle down with.

 

By the end of this episode:

• [Show subtopics]

 

Describe the problem

…[Problem, or Listener Email]

 



Segment #1

4 Types of guys who stay single:

 

The workaholic

For the guy who makes work priority number one, a relationship can seem like a hindrance for which he hasn’t the time or energy.

Reality check: Waiting for the “right time” isn’t the solution, according to Ian Kerner, Ph.D., author of DSI: Date Scene Investigation. “This guy needs to understand that life doesn’t start when he schedules it,” Dr. Kerner points out. And it needn’t be a lonely climb to the top: rather than derail his career, a supportive mate could provide stability, encouragement and an attentive ear.

 

The partier

For this guy, weekends in Vegas and hitting up the newest parties and clubs has too much appeal to entertain the possibility of settling down. Says self-described “committed bachelor” Sean, 30, of Brooklyn: “I go out to have a good time — mingle, dance, have fun — and not to meet someone.”

 

Reality check: As the Seans of the world mature, they may notice that their party-hearty peers are becoming fewer in number or that the average age of his social circle — and of his dates — remains constant as he ages. Another warning sign? More numbers in his cell phone for “friends with benefits” than those belonging to actual friends. The bottom line is, for all the fun of casual encounters and late nights out, a partier would do well to understand that a committed relationship has its own joys, too — even excitement and novelty.

 

The shy guy

It’s a fact: Meeting women requires conversation — which can be problematic for a shy guy and can stunt his relationship prospects. “I go out with the express purpose of meeting people, but I hardly ever screw up enough courage to talk to strangers,” admits Alex, 31, of Raleigh, NC. “Even if I do, I wuss out and leave before I get anywhere.”

 

Reality check: Rather than forcing social behavior in a high-stress situation, like at a loud nightclub, shy guys may be better off searching for potential mates who share the same affinities..

 

The too-picky guy

For all his many, many first dates, this guy is resolutely single, never having met anyone who quite fits his mold for the ideal mate. He is convinced that there is someone out there and is alternately determined to find The One or frustrated by his inability to do so. Says Andrew, 30, of Scarsdale, NY: “It’s impossible for me to compromise. I can’t settle for someone who doesn’t attract me physically, emotionally, intellectually and so on.” Compounding this inability to compromise is the belief that perfection in another personal really exists — a notion that could lend itself to fantasies of discovering love at first sight. “A guy with impossibly high standards may fall for someone, but then he’ll see this person’s flaws and imperfections and become disappointed,” says Dr. Kerner. Unfortunately, this can lead to discounting potentially great matches, as the picky guy may be unwilling to give a date with, say, a tendency to use emoticons in emails or “too short” hair a chance.

 

Reality check: What these guys need to accept is that no one’s perfect — and include themselves in that statement. And, in Dr. Kerner’s opinion, “There is no such thing as a soul mate,” he says. “Rather, it’s the journey of building a great relationship over time that leads to a ‘soul mate’-type of closeness.” So the next time you’re iffy about a girl, give her more of a chance before you write her off.

 

[message break]

 



Segment #2

The Misogynist – The Misogynist hates women, and women hate The Misogynist. The Misogynist doesn’t know a whole lot about the other gender, but he can tell you the exact number of them he’s slept with—214.

 

He did quite well with girls back in his earlier days when many were in their attracted to assholes phase, but lately, only those with the lowest self-esteem seem to gravitate towards him.

 

The Misogynist’s close cousin is The Perpetual Cheater. They’re different but they understand each other.

 

The New Lease On Life Guy – As long as anyone can remember, The New Lease On Life Guy had been dating his longterm girlfriend. He never seemed that happy in the relationship, but everyone just assumed they would eventually get married. Now, after a long and difficult breakup, The New Lease On Life Guy has reemerged with a bang and is suddenly acting like he just got called down on The Price Is Right. He’s not really sure how to be single but he’s goddamn happy he is, and he’s sure as hell going out tonight.

 

The Guy Who Peaked Too Early – Back in the day, The Guy Who Peaked Too Early had everything a 17-year-old girl could ever dream of. His sky-high confidence carried him smoothly through college, and no one was surprised when he landed a smart, sweet, beautiful girlfriend in his early 20s. But The Guy Who Peaked Too Early was just getting started. There was a field that needed to be played, and he broke up with his girlfriend when he was 24.

 

Now it’s seven years later, his hair got bored and left, and his high school football glory isn’t part of the conversation that much these days. And he’s noticing that girls like his ex-girlfriend don’t seem to be all that into him anymore. Realizing this about five years after everyone else, he takes a deep sigh and cranks his standards down a few big notches.

 

[message break]

 



Final Thoughts:

 

The Guy Who Has Just Fully Quit At This Point – The Guy Who Has Just Fully Quit At This Point never tried that hard in the first place, but at least there used to be a semblance of effort. He doesn’t like going to bars, refuses to try online dating, and both the bong and the X-Box are back in the living room following their brief stint in the closet after his friend gave him a pep talk one day four months ago.

 

Deep down, The Guy Who Has Just Fully Quit At This Point is pretty frightened about a lot of things, but his fear manifests itself in indifferent denial, and passivity usually prevails. There is only way that things change for The Guy Who Has Just Fully Quit At This Point, and that’s to find himself squarely in the sights of The Girl Who Relentlessly Pursues. Until then, the whole thing isn’t really his issue.

 

• Elijah’s Thoughts
• Sarah’s Thoughts

 

Show recap

Listener Mail

 

Show Close

If you have a question, comment, or funny story about [INSERT SHOW TOPIC] we have a private SafeSpace on facebook where we talk about all sorts of social, professional, and romantic relationship topics, and after every show you can go there and share you story, get some advice from great people or just hang out. Both Sarah and I are there every day and you can be there too, just go to www.relationspodcast.com/join and click the “Join Now’ button.

 

Until we meet again, keep striving to make every relationship you have the best it can possibly be, including (and especially) the one with yourself. We’ll talk soon.

 

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: RSS

Show Intro

I am Elijah R Young, I’m here with Sarah J. Storer and this is Relations: The Podcast, the on-demand radio show giving you better relationships, and more importantly, helping you become a better person to be in a relationship with…In today’s show:

 

Show Description

We’ll look at an inflammatory post about why women (who would like to date) are still single.

 

http://www.nairaland.com/1321130/honest-reasons-why-some-women   

 

By the end of this episode:

• [Show subtopics]

 

Describe the problem

…Women are high maintenance hags who sabotage their own happiness.

 



Segment #1

1. 1. Cause You Act Like A B**CH!!! – Yeah I said it, and what! Now I’m not trying to use that term in a general and disrespectful way. I am using it in a very specific and factual way. You have so many women that walk around with this nasty, stuck up attitude and they have the nerve to wonder why they struggle with finding the right man. Some of them have the audacity to cover it up by proclaiming to be a “diva”, too “classy”, or that they are just speaking their mind. In reality you just act like a b**ch.

 

1. 2. You Blame Men For Everything – That is why your Bottom is still single. You refuse to make yourself accountable for your actions. Everything is a man’s fault, and according to you, once they “act right” then you will have no problem falling in line. First off, I agree that men have contributed so much to the issues in relationships and women in general. We as men do have a responsibility to step up and do better. The thing is, if you aren’t willing to “step up” as well, then we will continue to have an issue, and you will continue to find yourself by yourself.

 

1. 3. You Think Your Looks Will Carry You Through Life – Ok so you’re beautiful and have a nice body, great! Problem is, if a man talks to you and finds out that there is nothing else to you then why would he bother wanting to make you his woman. He will still want séx (séx is always an option for men) but that’s it. Men may be more superficial than women, but most of us still want a woman who has some kind of personality. Make yourself a more well-rounded fun individual and more men will want to make you their own.

 

1. 4. You Are A Gold Digger – ok maybe you aren’t exactly on that level, but you have made how much he makes your top priority. You are so caught up in dollar signs that you overlook the things that are truly important to having and maintaining a relationship. Realize that most men are not rich, so right there you immediately make it harder for yourself to find the right guy. Even if a guy has money, if he sees that’s what you are mainly about he won’t take you seriously. I’m not saying date broke men, but I am saying that money should not be your main motivator. Have better priorities and you will find yourself in better relationships.

 

1. 5. You Don’t Keep Yourself Up – not that you have to get your nails and hair done every 2 weeks (though some of us do like that) but you can’t always look raggedy either. I mean damn, some of you ladies just put no real effort into how you look. Not everyone has the same style, but good hygiene and health should be a goal for all. Most of us want our woman to look good

 

[message break]

 



Segment #2

6. Your Séx Is Weak! – I personally believe it is best to wait but the reality is that most of us have or will engage in séx before we are married. As a woman if you chose to do that, then understand that your “skills” or lack thereof will impact a man’s willingness to make you his woman. Unfortunately a lot of women think they are good but really the experience was nothing to talk about. Women are quick to talk about a man’s performance while neglecting the fact that they could use a lot of improvement as well.

 

7. You’ve been Hurt – many single women reading this remain single or in dead-end relationships because you have been hurt in your past. This hurt can be from a previous relationship, previous situation with a man, or séxual abuse. Some of the first six reasons I listed are just manifestations of that same hurt you are holding on to. You now operate with walls up to protect you, but it is those same walls that continue to block the blessings you deserve to receive.

 

8. You keep entertaining the “wrong guy” – you know he isn’t the one for you yet you continue to entertain this man and his nonsense. He isn’t even giving you a full commitment but yet you are giving him all the benefits of a real relationship. How do you expect to ever find the “right guy” when you ALLOW yourself to continuously deal with the “wrong guy”? You want a relationship, but you let this (single or taken) man continue to take from you without having to fully give you what you desire in return.

 

9. Your too busy enjoying the “Single Life” – you’re just having too much fun living it up. Maybe you like to come and go as you please. Maybe you enjoy the free meals, outings, and for some, the bills that get paid from your “guy friends”. If those are your reasons, I get it, but just make sure that you aren’t using that as a front. Many women claim to love the “single life” but in a heartbeat they would trade it in for a genuine relationship.

 

10. You lack “positive energy”– this is different from #1 on the list “acting like a b**ch”. Some of you may not be negative or mean, but you still don’t give off any positive energy. If you were a light bulb, you would be a flickering light at best. Some of this is due to lack of self-esteem, unresolved issues that have sapped your strength, or just taking on too much to the point where you are beat down and worn out. Whatever the reason is, that inability to “shine bright” makes it hard for a man to be drawn to you.

 

[message break]

 



Final Thoughts:

11. You haven’t met “that guy” – shout out to the ladies that don’t settle. Shout out to the ladies that understand that if he isn’t the right guy for you, then forcing a relationship is pointless. I applaud you and I hope more women would take that path. The reality is, just because you meet a “good guy” that doesn’t mean he is the “right guy”. Continue to be patient, but make sure that the reason you haven’t met him isn’t due to unfair requirements you have set. If “that guy” is defined by his job, car, income bracket, and things of that nature then good luck with that. Those things make finding him harder, and personally I think you should focus on finding a man you connect with. Without that connection, “that guy” will easily become “that ex” in due time.

 

• Elijah’s Thoughts
• Sarah’s Thoughts

 

Show recap

Listener Mail

 

Show Close

If you have a question, comment, or funny story about [INSERT SHOW TOPIC] we have a private SafeSpace on facebook where we talk about all sorts of social, professional, and romantic relationship topics, and after every show you can go there and share you story, get some advice from great people or just hang out. Both Sarah and I are there every day and you can be there too, just go to www.relationspodcast.com/join and click the “Join Now’ button.

 

Until we meet again, keep striving to make every relationship you have the best it can possibly be, including (and especially) the one with yourself. We’ll talk soon.

 

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: RSS

Show Intro

I am Elijah R Young, I’m here with Sarah J. Storer and this is Relations: The Podcast, the on-demand radio show giving you better relationships, and more importantly, helping you become a better person to be in a relationship with…In today’s show:

 

Show Description

We’ll look at an inflammatory post about why women (who would like to date) are still single.

 

http://www.nairaland.com/1321130/honest-reasons-why-some-women   

 

By the end of this episode:

• [Show subtopics]

 

Describe the problem

…Women are high maintenance hags who sabotage their own happiness.

 



Segment #1

1. 1. Cause You Act Like A B**CH!!! – Yeah I said it, and what! Now I’m not trying to use that term in a general and disrespectful way. I am using it in a very specific and factual way. You have so many women that walk around with this nasty, stuck up attitude and they have the nerve to wonder why they struggle with finding the right man. Some of them have the audacity to cover it up by proclaiming to be a “diva”, too “classy”, or that they are just speaking their mind. In reality you just act like a b**ch.

 

1. 2. You Blame Men For Everything – That is why your Bottom is still single. You refuse to make yourself accountable for your actions. Everything is a man’s fault, and according to you, once they “act right” then you will have no problem falling in line. First off, I agree that men have contributed so much to the issues in relationships and women in general. We as men do have a responsibility to step up and do better. The thing is, if you aren’t willing to “step up” as well, then we will continue to have an issue, and you will continue to find yourself by yourself.

 

1. 3. You Think Your Looks Will Carry You Through Life – Ok so you’re beautiful and have a nice body, great! Problem is, if a man talks to you and finds out that there is nothing else to you then why would he bother wanting to make you his woman. He will still want séx (séx is always an option for men) but that’s it. Men may be more superficial than women, but most of us still want a woman who has some kind of personality. Make yourself a more well-rounded fun individual and more men will want to make you their own.

 

1. 4. You Are A Gold Digger – ok maybe you aren’t exactly on that level, but you have made how much he makes your top priority. You are so caught up in dollar signs that you overlook the things that are truly important to having and maintaining a relationship. Realize that most men are not rich, so right there you immediately make it harder for yourself to find the right guy. Even if a guy has money, if he sees that’s what you are mainly about he won’t take you seriously. I’m not saying date broke men, but I am saying that money should not be your main motivator. Have better priorities and you will find yourself in better relationships.

 

1. 5. You Don’t Keep Yourself Up – not that you have to get your nails and hair done every 2 weeks (though some of us do like that) but you can’t always look raggedy either. I mean damn, some of you ladies just put no real effort into how you look. Not everyone has the same style, but good hygiene and health should be a goal for all. Most of us want our woman to look good

 

[message break]

 



Segment #2

6. Your Séx Is Weak! – I personally believe it is best to wait but the reality is that most of us have or will engage in séx before we are married. As a woman if you chose to do that, then understand that your “skills” or lack thereof will impact a man’s willingness to make you his woman. Unfortunately a lot of women think they are good but really the experience was nothing to talk about. Women are quick to talk about a man’s performance while neglecting the fact that they could use a lot of improvement as well.

 

7. You’ve been Hurt – many single women reading this remain single or in dead-end relationships because you have been hurt in your past. This hurt can be from a previous relationship, previous situation with a man, or séxual abuse. Some of the first six reasons I listed are just manifestations of that same hurt you are holding on to. You now operate with walls up to protect you, but it is those same walls that continue to block the blessings you deserve to receive.

 

8. You keep entertaining the “wrong guy” – you know he isn’t the one for you yet you continue to entertain this man and his nonsense. He isn’t even giving you a full commitment but yet you are giving him all the benefits of a real relationship. How do you expect to ever find the “right guy” when you ALLOW yourself to continuously deal with the “wrong guy”? You want a relationship, but you let this (single or taken) man continue to take from you without having to fully give you what you desire in return.

 

9. You’re too busy enjoying the “Single Life” – you’re just having too much fun living it up. Maybe you like to come and go as you please. Maybe you enjoy the free meals, outings, and for some, the bills that get paid from your “guy friends”. If those are your reasons, I get it, but just make sure that you aren’t using that as a front. Many women claim to love the “single life” but in a heartbeat they would trade it in for a genuine relationship.

 

10. You lack “positive energy”– this is different from #1 on the list “acting like a b**ch”. Some of you may not be negative or mean, but you still don’t give off any positive energy. If you were a light bulb, you would be a flickering light at best. Some of this is due to lack of self-esteem, unresolved issues that have sapped your strength, or just taking on too much to the point where you are beat down and worn out. Whatever the reason is, that inability to “shine bright” makes it hard for a man to be drawn to you.

 

[message break]

 



Final Thoughts:

11. You haven’t met “that guy” – shout out to the ladies that don’t settle. Shout out to the ladies that understand that if he isn’t the right guy for you, then forcing a relationship is pointless. I applaud you and I hope more women would take that path. The reality is, just because you meet a “good guy” that doesn’t mean he is the “right guy”. Continue to be patient, but make sure that the reason you haven’t met him isn’t due to unfair requirements you have set. If “that guy” is defined by his job, car, income bracket, and things of that nature then good luck with that. Those things make finding him harder, and personally I think you should focus on finding a man you connect with. Without that connection, “that guy” will easily become “that ex” in due time.

 

• Elijah’s Thoughts
• Sarah’s Thoughts

 

Show recap

Listener Mail

 

Show Close

If you have a question, comment, or funny story about [INSERT SHOW TOPIC] we have a private SafeSpace on facebook where we talk about all sorts of social, professional, and romantic relationship topics, and after every show you can go there and share you story, get some advice from great people or just hang out. Both Sarah and I are there every day and you can be there too, just go to www.relationspodcast.com/join and click the “Join Now’ button.

 

Until we meet again, keep striving to make every relationship you have the best it can possibly be, including (and especially) the one with yourself. We’ll talk soon.

 

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Show Intro

I am Elijah R Young, I’m here with Sarah J. Storer and this is Relations: The Podcast, the on-demand radio show giving you better relationships, and more importantly, helping you become a better person to be in a relationship with…In today’s show:

 

Show Description

We’re gonna discuss the idea of ‘Hanging out’ vs. Dating and why you should prefer one over the other

 

By the end of this episode:

• Why people don’t date anymore
• Tips to ask a woman out directly

 

Describe the problem

…[Problem, or Listener Email]

 



Segment #1

1. Young adults don’t like to commit. It seems like people in my generation aren’t big on making commitments to people or to organizations. Generation Y is too busy trying to “find themselves” in order to commit to anybody or anything. This reluctance to commit has carried over to the interaction between the sexes. Young adults don’t want to be tied down to someone just in case they get an itch to go on a backpacking trip to Europe.

 

1. The internet has retarded Generation Y’s social skills. Instead of telling a person directly that they’re interested in them by asking them on a date, Generation Y sends Crush alerts on Facebook. While the internet has made connecting with people easier, it has also made us lazier at establishing meaningful relationships.

 

1. Feminism. Before I receive the wrath of all the feminists telling me it’s a typical man thing to blame women for the decline in dating, I ask that you hear me out. I think feminism is great. It’s great that women can choose to have a career, be a stay-at-home mom, or do both. But it does make things confusing for men. Navigating relations among the sexes is a bit more tricky today. Men have all these questions go through their head: Who asks? If I ask, will she think I’m too forward? Who pays for the date? Do we split the bill? All these uncertainties cause men to avoid dating altogether and opt for hanging out with women instead.

 

1. Men today are wussies. Men today aren’t very resilient. They don’t know how to handle rejection or failure, so they avoid rejection or failure by not asking women out on dates.

 

[message break]

 



Segment #2

1. She wants you to ask. Despite the rhetoric you hear about the liberated woman, women still appreciate it when a guy asks her out on a date. They like when men take the initiative. I’ve heard lots of successful young professional women lament the fact that men don’t ask them out. They’re beautiful, smart, and charming, but don’t have a man. Be a man and ask these women out.

 

2. Asking is easy. Asking a woman out on a date isn’t rocket science. When you ask, though, do it in person or over the phone. If you’re poking a woman you’re interested in on Facebook, you lose any credibility as a man.

 

3. Keep dates simple. Dates don’t have to be huge, expensive affairs. Keep it simple. If you want to keep things informal, ask her out for lunch or coffee. If you want a more romantic date, invite her over to your place and make dinner for her. She’ll be impressed that you know how to cook. The whole point of dating is to get some one on one interaction with a person to find out if she is someone you’d like to start a long term relationship with. Simple and frequent dates will assist you in this.

 

4. Prepare for rejection. Face it. Not every woman you ask out is going to say yes. Prepare for that. It’s no big deal if she says no. Think about it. You’re no worse off getting rejected than you were before you asked. You didn’t have a date with her before, you don’t have a date with her now. Your situation has not changed.

 

[message break]

 



Final Thoughts:

Comment from the article:

 

There is something magical about a date as opposed to hanging out. It is like putting a frame around something and calling it art. Just the frame changes the dynamic and makes us pay more attention to how we play, what we choose to do, how we see each other. The simple act of asking and accepting and committing to a time is very courage-building, too. And god knows you need a lot of courage to enjoy a good relationship with someone else – or hell, even to enjoy a really good relationships with yourself.

 

• Elijah’s Thoughts
• Sarah’s Thoughts

 

Show recap

Listener Mail

 

Show Close

If you have a question, comment, or funny story about [INSERT SHOW TOPIC] we have a private SafeSpace on facebook where we talk about all sorts of social, professional, and romantic relationship topics, and after every show you can go there and share you story, get some advice from great people or just hang out. Both Sarah and I are there every day and you can be there too, just go to www.relationspodcast.com/join and click the “Join Now’ button.

 

Until we meet again, keep striving to make every relationship you have the best it can possibly be, including (and especially) the one with yourself. We’ll talk soon.

 

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: RSS

Show Intro

I am Elijah R Young, I’m here with Sarah J. Storer and this is Relations: The Podcast, the on-demand radio show giving you better relationships, and more importantly, helping you become a better person to be in a relationship with…In today’s show:

 

Show Description

We’re talking about how to be sexually satisfied, and what factors determine sexual satisfaction

 

By the end of this episode:

• you’ll learn how one study weighs rewards vs. costs in sex
• how assertive you are can determine how good sex can be
• the #1 tip for sexual satisfaction

 

Describe the problem

…We talk and think about sex and being satisfied sexually all the time. The problem is, it’s still an area that’s widely misunderstood, mostly because the particular area of sexual satisfaction hasn’t been truly studied in depth. The subject itself is incredibly subjective, and for many years, one half of the spectrum wasn’t even considered in the studies (sorry ladies…they’re trying to catch up now, at least). So what information is out there that we CAN learn from? And what can you do today to guarantee more satisfaction in your sex life? Find out in Episode 131: 8 Factors for Sexual Satisfaction

 



Segment #1

 

Sexual satisfaction definition: “An affective response arising from one’s subjective evaluation of the positive and negative dimensions associated with one’s sexual relationship.”

 

FACTORS for sexual satisfaction, according to one theory/recent study:

1. Satisfaction in overall relationships–in this theory, level of sexual satisfaction increases (or decreases) with overall satisfaction in the relationship. Sexual gratification in this approach also takes into account the history of the relationship: If in most of the years past a couple has experienced higher costs and lower benefits, one week of high rewards and low costs will not compensate for the negative history.
2. Relationship between level and rewards vs. cost in a relationship–‘Rewards’ according to this theory are positive aspects in a relationship like those that bring joy and satisfaction. ‘Costs’ are events that cause pain, embarrassment, or anxiety, or require effort. Benefits and costs can be physical and behavioral or mental in nature.
3. Level of rewards and costs compared to expectations–if a couple has higher expectations that are consistently not met (even if, objectively, the relationship has a relatively good ratio of reward/cost), there is less satisfaction
4. Level of equality in rewards and costs between partners–If one partner seems to gain more rewards than another (or another is continually sacrificing his or her wants and needs to the other partner’s), there is less satisfaction.

 

[message break]

 



Segment #2

 

Summary from last segment: “if your overall relationship is sound, if your sex life brings more fun than pain, if the fun level exceeds expectations and the level of pain is lower than expected, if you feel that there is equality between you and your partner in the levels of fun and pain experienced, and if this situation has been going on for some time, then you are, according to this formula, sexually satisfied.”

 

Other factors:

1. Mutual support in healthy relationships–studies show that mutual support in the relationship leads to better times in the bedroom
2. Sexual assertiveness–”In the context of relationships, sexual assertiveness (the ability to stand your ground, establish clear boundaries, clarify what you want and need in sex, what works for you and what doesn’t) predicts increased satisfaction”
3. Birds of a feather–partners with similar personalities tend to report better sexual satisfaction

[message break]

 



Final Thoughts:

#1 We can’t say it enough…communication is key to sexual satisfaction. If you can’t convey what you want, or teach how you want it, you’re not going to be satisfied. Speaking up is hard…it makes you vulnerable and open to critique or judgment.

 

• Elijah’s Thoughts
• Sarah’s Thoughts

 

Show recap

Listener Mail

 

Show Close

If you have a question, comment, or funny story about [INSERT SHOW TOPIC] we have a private SafeSpace on facebook where we talk about all sorts of social, professional, and romantic relationship topics, and after every show you can go there and share you story, get some advice from great people or just hang out. Both Sarah and I are there every day and you can be there too, just go to www.relationspodcast.com/join and click the “Join Now’ button.

 

Until we meet again, keep striving to make every relationship you have the best it can possibly be, including (and especially) the one with yourself. We’ll talk soon.

 

http://www.psychologytoday.com/collections/201402/february-16-21/sexual-satisfaction-highly-valued-poorly-understood

 

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