This week is all about conquering conflict, and we are going to learn how to make amends with your partner after a bad argument.
By the end of this episode:
- 8 ways to heal a fracture in your relationship after a fight
Describe the problem
…It was a knock down, drag out, no holds barred conflict. You got it all out, spoke your truths, and fixed the issue at hand. Except now you’re walking through the remains of a war zone…how do you tread safely? And how can you repair hurt feelings and make amends?
Segment #1
- 8. Give a gift – This doesn’t really fix anythihng, but sometimes a truibute is a good way to get ‘in’ again so a real solution can be created
- 7. Let the little stuff go – How important is the toilet seat when you’re not directly sitting on it? Not very, if you can keep the proper perspective, then you can avoid letting an argument in one area, break your relationship in unrelated areas
- 6. Talk about the fight – Hey, you know that fight we had the other day…well of course they do! Approaching things ‘head on’ allows you both to settle any resentful feelings and really move on, especially if somebody got hurt in the last battle
- 5. Fix what you can – Did your partner bring up something that you can actually fix. Nothing says, “I want this to work” than actually listening and taking their advice. If you can show that you’re listening, they will be more apt to listen to you too.
Segment #2
- 4. Admit you were wrong – Sometimes, it’s not about the dishes, or the trash, or the headache you faked…sometimes your partner just want to know that their concerns/fears are legitimate. Reassure your partner that they are not, in fact, crazy, and then you two can work on a solution that leaves everyone smiling and headache free!
- 3. Laugh together – You know what the opposite of fighting together is? Laughing together. Fighting creates an actual tear in your relationship, but laughing can open the doors to a good old fixin’. Share a smile, and who knows what else you two will start to share.
- 2. Apologize – Yes, apologize, but do it for real. Fake apologies only make things worse, and the last thing you want to do to an already hurt partner, or make them feel patronized
Final Thoughts:
#1. Remember why you are together – Look your partner in the eyes and remind them of why you chose them. Remind them that you still think they are that person, and those memories are the ones you choose to focus on, and the types that you’d like to continue to create instead of the one that you just did. Ask them how to create a great memomy, and then send a check to Relations: The Podcast…
- Elijah’s Thoughts
- Start over, clean slate
- Sarah’s Thoughts
In Closing
If you have a question, comment, or funny story about [INSERT SHOW TOPIC] we have a private SafeSpace on facebook where we talk about all sorts of social, professional, and romantic relationship topics, and after every show you can go there and share you story, get some advice from great people or just hang out. Both Sarah and I are there every day and you can be there too, just go to www.relationspodcast.com/join and click the “Join Now’ button.
Until we meet again, keep striving to make every relationship you have the best it can possibly be, including the one with yourself. We’ll talk soon.
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