GUEST: David and Jonathan Bennett, authors, dating coaches
RECORD TIME: 1/4/14, 1pm
How to be “popular” and use this skill to get more dates and better, more fulfilling relationships.
Host info:
Upcoming Events
http://thepopularman.com/events/
– Reading Female Signs of Attraction
– Reading Male Signs of Attraction
– How To Get a Second Date
– Flirting 101
Consulting and Classes
http://thepopularman.com/consulting/
ARC (Approach, Rapport, and Close) class= Feb 18, 25, and March 4th
https://twitter.com/the_popular_man
Teaser Bullets
by the end of this episode you’ll learn:
- The definition of “popular”
- The principle anyone can learn and start using today
- The number one thing you can do to make your life–and others’ better–
Describe the problem
You remember the popular kids in high school: everything they did seemed effortless when it came to interacting with others. The problem is, the term “popular” can have a negative connotation, as well, sometimes associated with over-confidence, brashness or selfishness…but it doesn’t have to be that way! So how can you take the skills that people who are good with other people use every day and translate them into something real and relatable that makes sense for you? And how can you leverage those skills to meet more people and get better dates? Find out after the break.
Segment #1
Ask David and Johnathan their definition of popular.
-
- 8. Anyone Can Be Popular
– Most people think you are either born naturally popular or not.
– There is a science (and art) behind it that people can learn
– The first step is to stop treating it like a mystery and start learning it
-
- 7.Be Your Best Self/Avatar
– “Just be yourself” is bad advice, and leaves many people socially frustrated
– Instead be your “best self” – the best version of you possible
-
- 6.Give-Get-Give
– A popular person gives to others (materially and of his time/makes people feel good)
– He gets in return (attention, gifts, etc)
– then he gives back, and so forth, creating a cycle where everyone benefits
-
- 5. Treat everyone the same/everyone is practice
– A popular person treats everyone the same way (in an appropriate context), age 0-120
– He applies the principles of popularity to everyone: man, woman, child, people who are handicapped, whatever
Segment #2
-
- 4. Pay Attention
– Sadly, people are attention-starved. Paying attention to them and details about their lives makes you stand out from boring people.
– Most guys in particular are horrible at observing details
– Observe people: their hobbies, call them by name, mention what they are wearing, etc, and use it in conversation
-
- 3. Stand Up For Yourself
– People like assertive individuals. Women don’t like needy pushovers.
– Avoid aggression, passivity, and passive-aggression and be assertive
-
- 2. Promote Yourself First
– Most unfulfilled guys tend to promote other interests first: the Buckeyes, a music group, a religion, etc
– Then they act surprised when they are unpopular, because all their efforts make others popular
– We are not saying to be selfish (see “Give Get Give”) but guys need to work on their own self-development and promotion too
Final Thoughts:
Number One Tip: 1. Have Fun and Make People Feel Good
– Ultimately if you make people feel good and enjoy life more, they will like you
– If you can take that good feeling you give people and move it in a romantic direction (and David and Jonathan teach how to do that), that’s how you get dates
- Elijah’s Thoughts
- Sarah’s Thoughts
Host Info
Upcoming Events
http://thepopularman.com/events/
– Reading Female Signs of Attraction
– Reading Male Signs of Attraction
– How To Get a Second Date
– Flirting 101
Consulting and Classes
http://thepopularman.com/consulting/
ARC (Approach, Rapport, and Close) class= Feb 18, 25, and March 4th
In Closing
If you have a question, comment, or funny story about [INSERT SHOW TOPIC] you can send us an email at elijah@relationspodcast.com. You can also follow us on Twitter at “Haverelations”, find us on facebook at facebook.com/haverelations. I’m @elijahryoung on Twitter, my amazing co-host (and author of “How to be Dumped: The definitive Breakup Guide” is @sarahJStorer on Twitter and this show’s notes and soon, it’s transcription, will be at our home base, relationspodcast.com/[ShowNumber], and don’t forget to subscribe to the Get the Gal, or Get the Guy mini course in the sidebar!
Now go forth and continue to relate better to one another. We’ll talk soon.
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