0046 – How to Date a Co-Worker Without Losing Your Job

Can you have a successful romantic relationship with someone what you work with?

Teaser Bullets

by the end of this episode you’ll learn:

• Stats on relationships and work
• Possible issues of romantic work relationships
• Tips on how to have a successful work relationship
• Common work relationship mistakes

Describe the problem

Listener Dana – Is it wise to date a coworker/within the work place?

Eight hours would be a long time, but with more people merging their personal and business hours by working at home, it’s not surprising that some people may go all the way and just date someone at work. Is this as bad of an idea as it seems at first? Are they setting themselves up for failure? If not, how can someone successfully navigate both the minefield that is the workday, while protecting against hurting their relationship, and their career?

Segment #1

• Stats on relationships and work
  • CBS | 38 Percent Have Dated A Co-Worker
    • according to a survey from CareerBuilder.com, 38 percent of people have dated a co-worker at least once over the course of their careers. Meanwhile, 17 percent of those polled said they have dated co-workers at least twice.
  • Freshgigs.ca | What You Need to Know Before Dating a Coworker
    • Vault.com survey –
      • 59% of respondents admitted to having an office romance.
      • 23.3% of men report having short-term flings vs. 15.4% of women.
      • 22.2% of women report having more long-term, serious relationships vs. 14.7% of men.
    • In our own FreshGigs.ca job survey, 20% of respondents said they had dated someone at work and 29% said they would.
• Possible issues of romantic work relationships
  • TheFrisky | 5 Pros And Cons Of Dating A Co-Worker
    • 1. The person you’re dating works in the same building. If you get into a spat or worse, break up, you’ll have to see him every day — eating his stupid Pop Tarts, working with his shoes off, dating someone new — and it’s gonna be bitch.
    • 2. He’ll understand the minutiae of your day. Get ready for an awful lot of gossiping about weird co-workers and venting about clients on the weekends.
    • 3. You’ll have to keep things on the down low. It will suck to have to treat him like a colleague in staff meetings when all you want to do is jump on him and lick his face.
    • 4. You already know him. The guy eats Pop Tarts for breakfast every day and his socks smell. Hopefully, you’ll still get butterflies despite this.
    • 5. One of you might get a promotion. Things might get weird if he becomes your boss or you become his. There’s a good chance that this will send one of you off into the job market, searching for a new place of employment … and a new love interest.

 

Call or text 508 444 2003 to tell us about a time where a work romance caused trouble in a company that you worked for. Keep everything anonymous! You can also post your comments on our Facebook page at  www.facebook.com/haverelations.

Segment #2

• Tips on how to have a successful work relationship
  • AllWomensTalk.com | 7 Tips for Dating a Co-Worker You’ve Gotten to Know
    • Don’t Violate Company Policy – When you go about dating a co-worker, you want to make sure that you are not going to be putting your career in jeopardy by violating company policies. If you are dating a co-worker and violating the company polices, make sure that it is worth it. Is this person the ‘one’ for you? Do you have an instant connection? Is he marriage material? Below, we’ll explore some ways that you can keep your relationship discreet so maybe, nobody will know you are dating!
    • Avoid PDAs (lol) – Whenever you are dating a co-worker, make sure that you are avoiding any and all PDAs, especially around the office. This can actually put your career at risk and can actually cause a lot of tension within the office. If you’re going to date someone that you work with, save the PDAs until you are out of the office.
    • Don’t Fight at Work – This goes hand-in-hand with the PDAs rule. When you are fighting with your spouse, remember – don’t take it out at him at work! When you are at work, you want to leave all of your personal business behind and make sure that you are professional and civil at work.
    • Have An Exit Strategy – Finally, if you are dating a co-worker, make sure that you have some kind of exit strategy. What this means is that if you do happen to break up, what are you going to do? How are you going to handle it? Be prepared!
  • Glamour.com | 10 Tips for Dating Someone in the Workplace
    • Make Out in the Elevator
    • Secretly making out in the elevator at work and then stopping the second you get to your floor is a fantasy everyone has, and you have the opportunity to make it happen. Take advantage, on behalf of the rest of us. [Ed note: But be wary of security cameras!]
• Common work relationship mistakes
  • Glamour.com | 10 Tips for Dating Someone in the Workplace
    • If One of You Manages The Other, Just Don’t Date, Period
    • Don’t date or sleep with your boss or subordinate. It puts both of you in an awkward (and fireable!) position, and things like “sexual harassment” get too easy to claim. If you really think this might be the love of your life, consider leaving your job before you start a relationship. If it’s just a fling you’re after, don’t do it.
  • StatusMakeover | 5 Tips for Dating a Coworker (A Guest Post)  
    • Leave work at work.  When you’re going out with a coworker, it can be easy to fall into conversations revolving around work:  how everyone fell asleep during your presentation, reasons behind the merger, the point of the conference call that occupied half of the day, or even about how the vending machine is never properly stocked with the right products to satisfy your 3:00 p.m. sweet tooth.  You deal with enough work during the week and your free time spent away from the office shouldn’t be spent on what you deal with Monday—Friday, nine to five.  To keep things interesting between you and your special coworker, direct the conversation elsewhere and relax while enjoying the opportunity to get to know one another in a different environment.

Tell us about Is it ever ok to date your boss? You can also post your comments on our Twitter page at  www.twitter.com/haverelations.

Final Thoughts:

• Elijah’s Thoughts
• Sarah’s Thoughts

 

In Closing

In closing, on behalf of my fantastic co-host, Sarah J. Storer, author of “How to be Dumped: The Definitive Breakup Guide” I want to thank you for spending time with us today, now let’s continue the conversation at relationspodcast.com/46 and:

 

Final Question:

[Create a question based on the total show, or a quirky incident that happened during recording]?

Tell us about it in the comment section and let’s see if we can’t continue to relate to one another. We’ll talk soon.

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