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0064 – This Episode Proves That Pickup Lines Are Terrible…

 

What are the best pickup lines? Why do we use them?

Teaser Bullets

by the end of this episode you’ll learn:

  • Do pick up lines work?
  • What are some ‘great’ Situational pickup lines
  • What are the worst pickup lines

Describe the problem

We’ve all heard the bad ones and some have gone down in history as cliched, silly or even insulting. But do pickup lines work? Are there actually good ones? And if you want to use ‘em, where do you get started?

Segment #1

  • Do pick up lines work?
    • Charmingoo.com |  Warning: Pick Up Lines Don’t Work And You Need To Know That!!!
      • While a good sense of humor is imperative to a relationship, it isn’t what women first look for in a man. They want to see a sense of responsibility and not an oversized ego. When you use a pick-up line, there are two things that run through the woman’s mind: are you that egotistical and are you drunk? Obviously, that is not the impression you want to give off, because it isn’t going to do anything for you.
    • The Art Museum Online | Do pickup lines really work?
      • If you can learn to deliver a great pickup line at the perfect time, you can have tons of success with women and gain confidence. The most important thing is to be courageous and not give up if you are not successful every time. Simply try a different line on someone else! Pickup lines are some of the most successful ways to pick up a woman, so try it out for yourself with these simple tips in mind.
    • Science of Relationships | Will Your Pick-Up Line Work? It Depends…on Her
      • In a study of 70 undergraduates, researchers tested whether attractiveness and mating strategy (short vs. long term) influence receptivity to pick-up lines. Replicating previous research, women preferred men who took the innocuous “Do you have the time?” route, or those who used direct pick-up lines – e.g., “…I’d like to meet you. What’s your name?” Cute or flippant lines — “Can I get a picture of you so I can show Santa what I want for Christmas?” — continued to strike out. But women preferred attractive men for short-term relationships, regardless of the type of pick-up line he used. For long-term relationships, women preferred men who used direct or innocuous lines. Even though flippant lines made men seem outgoing and humorous, they also made them seem less trustworthy and less intelligent. Men who used direct lines were seen as the most trustworthy and intelligent.
    • The Popular Man | Do Pick Up Lines Work?
      • Attracting a woman is a process. Granted, it’s typically a short one since attraction is very visceral and somewhat instant. But it’s still a process that lasts longer than a three second pick up line, contrary to what guys who stake their success on a “line” think.
      • So, obsessing over the choice and delivery of a pick up line isn’t the best use of time when preparing to approach a woman. Can a guy with a great opener, but nothing else, count on a pick up line to save his butt and get a phone number. No way.

Segment #2

  • What are some ‘great’ Situational pickup lines
    • AMOG | 20 Great Pick Up Lines We Dare You To Try Out
      • (If she’s walking her dog.) That’s a nice dog. Does it have a phone number?
      • Do you know me from somewhere?
      • I’m going to my car to make out. Would you like to join me?
      • I lost my phone number. Can I have yours?
      • I’m invisible. (She will most likely respond by saying, “What?”) Can you see me? (She will say, “Yes.”) Great! How about tomorrow night?
    • The Date Report | Pickup Lines For Your Waiter Or Waitress That Will Actually Work
      • You’d be the perfect woman, even if your hair didn’t smell like French fries.
      • Is there a non-creepy way to hit on your waiter? If so, please text it to me.
      • You get 25 percent of the bill and 100 percent of my heart. Call me?
      • My burger was great, but YOU are rare and well-done at the same time.
  • What are the worst pickup lines
    • The Anchor NYC | The 5 Worst Pickup Lines EVER
      • “You must be a…” “… supermodel or a hot bartender.” – Seriously guys, please stop looking at a girl, sizing her up, and thinking you can guess what she does for a living. No matter what you guess — even if you’re right — it’s going to be offensive in some way. Just be cool and ask what we do; then feign interest while we try to make it sound more interesting than it is.
    • Maxim Mag | The worst pick-up lines in the history of chatting up!
      • Did it hurt? When you fell from heaven?
      • You remind me of a parking ticket…Because you’ve got FINE written all over you.
      • Are you going to kiss me, or do I have to lie to my diary?
      • Can I borrow a quarter? I promised my mom I would call her when I met the girl of my dreams.
    • E-Daily Post | The Worst Pickup Lines that Seem to Work
      • Draw a line on a piece of paper and offer it to the girl. Normally she’ll ask “What’s this?” then you [short laugh] say “It’s a pick up line”
      • “If you were a burger at McDonald’s you’d be the McGorgeous”
      • “Do you have a map? I’m lost in your eyes”
      • “Hey, I just farted, want to go outside for some fresh air?”
      • “Wanna go back to my place and see my stamp collection?”

 

Final Thoughts:

  • Elijah’s Thoughts
  • Sarah’s Thoughts

In Closing

In closing, on behalf of my fantastic co-host, Sarah J. Storer, author of “How to be Dumped: The Definitive Breakup Guide” I want to thank you for spending time with us today, now let’s continue the conversation at relationspodcast.com/[ShowNumber] and:

 

Final Question:

[Create a question based on the total show, or a quirky incident that happened during recording]?

Tell us about it in the comment section and let’s see if we can’t continue to relate to one another. We’ll talk soon.

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0063 – What is the Proper Etiquette for a Threesome?

 

How do you get into a Threesome? Yep, we’re going there.

Teaser Bullets

by the end of this episode you’ll learn:

  • How do you ask for a threesome
  • How to have a successful threesome
  • How to turn down a threesome
  • Top Threesome mistakes

Describe the problem

Segment #1

  • How do you ask for a threesome
    • Sexpressionists | Threesomes: How Do You Ask?
      • You could also take it in steps. Go dancing. Let your wife dance with another guy. Later, talk about how it made both of you feel. If it was positive, gradually move to more adventurous activities- maybe some touching and kissing. The idea is to test the waters slowly, then have an open, honest discussion about your feelings after each step.
    • HelloBeautiful | Professional Athletes Tell Their Dirtiest Stories: “I Didn’t Catch Scurvy, So Whatever”
      • How do you even go about asking a woman for a threesome – Ask if she thinks that over there girl is cute. Then ask her ‘would she do it to her ?’ and see what she says.  If she would and she’s that type of chick, let her go approach the other girl and see if she can seal the deal.
  • How to turn down a threesome
    • The Stir.CafeMom.com | http://thestir.cafemom.com/love_sex/149422/how_to_politely_turn_down
      • Show excitement. After the smile, merge into excitement saying something like, Wow, that sounds incredible! and then smile a naughty type of smile. The person flattered you by asking, so now you return the favor by flattering the asker by hinting that you think the experience would be incredible.
  • How to have a successful threesome
    • Black Girl Nerds | Threesomes, Relationships, Polygamy, Oh My!
      • Talk honestly about your feelings – If before or after you need reassurance, tell him! This can be scary, no matter how pretty or secure they tell us we should be in our relationship! If you feel she got too much attention during the threesome, tell him! I still have moments of jealousy and hurt even after 6 years. When i need reassurance from my partners, even if they only had a more casual encounter, i get it! It makes me feel better, eases my pain and makes me relaxed. Get the reassurance you need and make sure he is providing it.

Segment #2

  • Top Threesome mistakes
    • LovePanky.com | Threesome Tips – 20 Things to Know Before Entering One
      • Don’t pick a friend. Avoid bringing a good friend to bed. The best person to have a threesome with is someone you know well, but preferably someone from another area code, or on a vacation spot.
    •  Ebony.com | 3 Tips for Threesomes
      • A threesome isn’t a free-for-all, universally accepted sex act based on boundaries and principles everyone knows and agrees upon. Each couple and situation is unique, and it is important to establish clear boundaries and expectations. As with everything related to sex, communication is essential. Be completely honest about what you hope to get out of the experience, what you’re comfortable with, and what you absolutely will not tolerate.  
    • North By Northwestern | Tips for a drama-free threesome
      • Be careful when couples are involved. If you’re in a relationship with someone you truly care about, adding another person to the mix is likely to make things messy. Asking if you can bring someone else into the bedroom is likely to raise all sorts of questions for your significant other: “Am I not good enough?” “Does my partner find him/her more attractive than me?” “Is this a prelude to my partner saying that they want to see other people?” “Is my partner gay?” Even if the answer to all of these questions is no, you’ve still created a situation where your partner is self-conscious and not very likely to enjoy themself. If you decide to go through with it, be prepared for some jealously and the possibility that it could ruin your relationship.
      • Be prepared for the fallout. When the sex is over, the situation can get awkward. Hopefully you’ve already established who goes and who stays, so the extra person (or two) can excuse themselves and make a quick exit. If you’re in a relationship, wait until the other person is gone and then assure your significant other how much you love and appreciate him or her. They might be feeling a little unwanted, so make it clear that you care about them first and foremost.  

 

Final Thoughts:

  • Elijah’s Thoughts
  • Sarah’s Thoughts

 

In Closing

In closing, on behalf of my fantastic co-host, Sarah J. Storer, author of “How to be Dumped: The Definitive Breakup Guide” I want to thank you for spending time with us today, now let’s continue the conversation at relationspodcast.com/[ShowNumber] and:

 

Final Question:

[Create a question based on the total show, or a quirky incident that happened during recording]?

Tell us about it in the comment section and let’s see if we can’t continue to relate to one another. We’ll talk soon.

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0062 – Everything You Wanted to Know About Polyamory Relationships

 

What is this whole polyamory thing about? What does that word even mean? This is a two part show!

Teaser Bullets

by the end of this episode you’ll learn:

  • What is a polyamorous relationship
  • Concerns about polyamory
  • Polyamory myths and facts

Describe the problem

News flash: despite what countless rom-coms would have us believe, monogamy is just one shade of gray when it comes to relationships. The fact is, relationships come in many different forms, with lots of nuances, with polyamory having some of the most diverse nuances of all. So what is polyamory, exactly? Is it simply about people wanting to have sex with lots of other people without consequence, or is there more to it? And if you are considering polyamory or open relationships, what are some key things you need to know?

Segment #1

  • What is a polyamorous relationship?
    • Marriage-Equality.blogspot.com | Quick Basic Explanation of Polyamory
      • Polyamory IS loving or having a relationship* with more than one person with the agreement of all. This can be one-on-one at a time, or in a grouping. Having this agreement doesn’t necessarily mean everyone will know everything about all involved and what they do, but it means that nobody involved has falsely promised anyone monogamy.
  • Concerns about Polyamory
    • Psychology Today | The Polyamorists Next Door
      • Terror – For other people, realizing the polyamorous possibility can feel extremely threatening, especially if their partner has ever given any indication that they might want to have an open relationship. Several personal and social issues can contribute to a fearful response.
    • Huffington Post | Why I Believe in Polyamory, But Still Feel It’s Problematic
      • My sense is that we have not evolved enough as a species in terms of emotional intelligence to be successful with poly relationships. To live poly-amorously requires enormous emotional intelligence — i.e., the capacity to know yourself, transcend and include your ego, excellent communication skills, capacity to hold boundaries, feel empathy, be organized and highly responsible, etc.
      • It also means that you have the willingness and capacity to hang in there when the going gets tough.What that means practically, is if you are not doing well with one partner, don’t run off and make yourself feel better with your other lover. Instead, hang in there and solve your issues together. It requires a deeply skilled capacity to play win-win.

Segment #2

  • Polyamory myths and facts
    • Everyday Feminism | More Than Two: Examining the Myths and Facts of Polyamory
      • Myth #1: With the right partner, you only need one person – This myth can also sound a lot like “Polyamorous relationships aren’t real relationships.” We’re taught by movies, music, our parents, friends, and marriage laws what kind of relationship we’re supposed to be in, and what a real relationship looks like – a two-person (usually heterosexual), monogamous one. And the idea is that when you find that one perfect person, they will fulfill all of your needs, and therefore, you won’t desire anyone else. This is what real love looks like, they say. If your desires do not fit into this ideal, then there is something wrong with you. But is there really anything wrong with not finding yourself completely fulfilled by one partner? Can we ever truly have all of our emotional and physical needs met by one person?
      • Myth #3: Polyamory is for people who “just want to sleep around” and avoid attachment and intimacy – Poly people are greedy and selfish, I’ve heard people say. They want to have endless amounts of sex while avoiding real intimacy. While this may be true of some people (poly and monogamous), polyamorous people tend to engage in very intimate and attached relationships. Polyamory requires a lot of trust.
      • Myth #4: Polyamory is for people who don’t get jealous – People in polyamorous relationships do experience jealousy, sometimes quite often – but instead of avoiding feelings of jealousy, poly folks (just like all people in healthy relationships!) are pushed to confront jealousy head on. It’s important to recognize that it’s okay to feel jealousy! There’s nothing shameful about it. It’s just a feeling. What is important is what you do with that feeling, and how you come to understand and deal with it.
      • Fact #1: You are already complete – Too often, the cultural understanding around monogamy rests on the assumption that you are not enough, that you need another person, your “other half,” to complete you. But you don’t have to look for someone with whom you can hole up, turning into that all-encompassing two-person unit, closed off and turned inward. You are already complete. Coming into polyamory requires seeing yourself as already whole, facing outward and open.
      • Fact #3: Other people are not your competitors – When we see love as scarce, we are taught to see others outside of our relationship as potential competitors. Often, these are people of our same gender. Women, especially, are conditioned by our culture to see other women as their competitors. But we don’t have to see others in this way. In polyamory, there is ideally a freedom from this way of thinking that can also be very liberating. It can be hard to do, especially at first, but when you work to humanize the people your partner is interested in, seeing them as allies rather than rivals, you are liberated from having to be territorial and can come to see everyone around you in a different light. Seeing those of the same gender as potential enemies is also politically harmful. Competition amongst women, fueled by our patriarchal cultural conditioning, is incredibly detrimental to our fight for gender equality.

 

Final Thoughts:

  • Elijah’s Thoughts
  • Sarah’s Thoughts

 

In Closing

In closing, on behalf of my fantastic co-host, Sarah J. Storer, author of “How to be Dumped: The Definitive Breakup Guide” I want to thank you for spending time with us today, now let’s continue the conversation at relationspodcast.com/[ShowNumber] and:

 

Final Question:

[Create a question based on the total show, or a quirky incident that happened during recording]?

Tell us about it in the comment section and let’s see if we can’t continue to relate to one another. We’ll talk soon.

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0061 – What’s the Best Way to Deliver Bad News

 

How do you deliver bad news to someone that you care deeply about?

Teaser Bullets

by the end of this episode you’ll learn:

  • Why do we hate giving bad news?
  • The two ways people usually deliver bad news
  • How to prepare to give bad news
  • Tips to deliver bad news

Describe the problem

It’d be super nice if every relationship–romantic, platonic, professional or otherwise–was non-stop puppies and giggles and rainbows. But the hard, cold truth is…well, sometimes you have to deliver the hard, cold truth. What do you do when it’s time to ‘fess up? What’s the best way to be the bearer of bad news? And is it even worth the caveat of “don’t kill the messenger” if the news is REALLY bad?

Segment #1

  • Why do we hate giving bad news?
    • Albanian JOurnalism | Top 4 Tips for Breaking Bad News to Employees
      • Delivering bad news is one of the toughest tasks that managers have to face. Bad news comes in many forms, including communicating poor employee performance, bad financial situations, expected layoffs and many other topics that aren’t easy to deal with. On the face of it, the truth might seem quite difficult to convey. However, it is the anxiety that the bad news is likely to generate and the likelihood that employees might not receive the news well that concerns most people.
  • The two ways people usually deliver bad news
    • Matters of the Heart | Two Ways to Deliver Bad News
      • Beliefs about the delivery of bad news usually follows two lines of thinking: 1) the news is bad enough, the delivery should at least be compassionate, 2) you can’t do anything about it, so just get it over with.
  • How to prepare to give bad news
    • MindTools.com | Communicating Well Under Pressure
      • Pay Attention to Setting and Timing – Unless you have to deliver bad news to a group, choose a private setting for your conversation. Privacy allows the other person the freedom to respond and cope in a way that’s comfortable for them, which is a key part of helping them to move forward. Turn your cell phone off, and make sure that you won’t be interrupted.
      • Next, pay attention to timing. It’s often best to deliver bad news promptly, but without skipping the essential preparation that we have just covered. “Sitting” on bad news can start rumors, and it might also damage your reputation.
    • ResultsPositive | Delivering Bad News on a Project
      • Don’t: Delegate bad news. Again you are the leader or “CEO” of your projects and you are accountable to the stakeholders (your board of directors) so you should be the voice of the project.

Segment #2

  • Tips to deliver bad news
    • Bob Barron.com | How to Deliver Bad News – The Post I Wish I Had Read a Year Ago
      • In person – This should be a no-brainer, but if you are conflict-averse, it will be very difficult.  Delivering bad news is very emotional and your non-verbal communication has a huge impact.  Not over the phone.  Definitely not by email.  Do it in person.
      • Decisive – Being decisive is hugely important when delivering bad news.  The one receiving the news needs to know that the decision has been made – period.  That may sound harsh, but it is not.  The alternative is to allow for wiggle room.  Wiggle room gives false hope, and that is truly harsh.  When it is time to deliver the news, look the person in the eye and give a straight-forward and decisive delivery.
    • Blog.Capital.Org | 7 Helpful Tips for Conducting Difficult Conversations with Employees
      • Empower the Employee – Give the employee an opportunity to present their side or to address the points you are making from their point of view. Show the employee your willingness to listen to what they have to say and they will be less likely to feel threatened or defensive.
      • Observations, Not Absolutes – Sensitive issues should be presented as observations made from your perspective, not as absolutes. Observations can leave less room for argument in the discussion. However, be certain to only leave room for negotiation if you are willing to consider it. In cases of a termination, maintain a firm and direct stance without room for argument.
      • Accountability without Blame – Provide context when framing an issue that needs to be addressed. If a specific goal has been missed, suggest circumstances that may have contributed to the situation. The employee is still responsible for overcoming those obstacles, where possible, to meet the goal. Knowing management understands the situation beneath the surface will motivate the employee to improve going forward.

 

Final Thoughts:

  • Elijah’s Thoughts
  • Sarah’s Thoughts

 

In Closing

In closing, on behalf of my fantastic co-host, Sarah J. Storer, author of “How to be Dumped: The Definitive Breakup Guide” I want to thank you for spending time with us today, now let’s continue the conversation at relationspodcast.com/[ShowNumber] and:

 

Final Question:

[Create a question based on the total show, or a quirky incident that happened during recording]?

Tell us about it in the comment section and let’s see if we can’t continue to relate to one another. We’ll talk soon.

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: RSS

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0060 – Is an Emotional Affair Really Cheating?

 

What is an emotional affair, and how do we get in…or out of them?

Teaser Bullets

by the end of this episode you’ll learn:

  • What is an emotional affair
  • Emotional affair characteristics
  • Is an emotional affair worse than a sexual affair?
  • Signs that an emotional affair is going on
  • How to end an emotional affair

Describe the problem

No one wants to be cheated on, and it’s easy for those in relationships to set physical boundaries for their partner. But many couples would also say that there are emotional boundaries that can be crossed, as well. So what happens when one partner begins investing in emotional relationships outside his or her primary one? What’s the line? And how do you know if you’re crossing it?

Segment #1

  • What is an emotional affair?
    • The Root | Is It Really Cheating If There’s No Sex?
      • In David J. Moultrup’s book Husbands, Wives & Lovers: The Emotional System of the Extramarital Affair, he defines it as “a relationship between a person and someone other than [their] spouse [or lover] that has an impact on the level of intimacy, emotional distance and overall dynamic balance in the marriage.” Even though there’s no sex, the relationship you describe can be just as devastating to a marriage as sexual infidelity.
    • Terri411Cato.com | EMOTIONAL AFFAIR
      • First of all, let’s clarify what emotional cheating is and what it is not. Emotional cheating is defined as an affair where there is no physical intimacy – but there is emotional intimacy. These relationships often start out as friendships and serve to create an emotional distance in the marriage. Once the affair has been consummated, the relationship has crossed the line and is considered infidelity.
  • Emotional affair characteristics
    • Terri411Cato.com | EMOTIONAL AFFAIR
      • Some of the characteristics of an emotional affair include: secrecy, denial, sexual and/or emotional chemistry, and spending inappropriate amounts of time with person – this can be in-person or on-line. The person involved in an emotional affair will often keep the other person a secret from their spouse.  Intrinsically, perhaps they know that their relationship with the other person is inappropriate and they may not feel comfortable telling their spouse about this person. The partner may also deny that they are involved in any way with the other person for fear of being found out. The partner may also deny or down play the amount of time they are spending with the other person. The fact that secrecy and denial play a major part in this affair indicate that although not sexual, but inappropriate actions are taking place.
  • Is an emotional affair worse than a sexual affair?
    • Care2.com | Is Emotional Infidelity Worse Than A Sexual Affair?
      • Expert Lisa Shield says: Are physical affairs bad? Of course they are. Anytime you break an agreement with your partner, you undermine the trust and safety in your relationship. As damaging as sexual infidelity can be, emotional fidelity is the hardest thing to build — and it takes the biggest toll on a relationship when it is betrayed.

Segment #2

  • Signs that an emotional affair is going on
    • PsychCentral | 3 Sure Signs of an Emotional Affair
      • You contact them outside of “friendship hours.” – If they start calling you in the evening, you are crossing the line. If you are texting on the weekends, you are no longer just work friends. If you find yourself waiting for those texts and those phone calls, anxiously checking your phone and responding immediately, you should refocus your attention and look honestly at the situation. You may be more emotionally involved with them at this point than with your spouse. Ask yourself: is there more to this friendship than I want to admit to my partner? Am I being honest with them and with myself?
    • The Female Gene | Secret signs if your boyfriend is in emotional affair with someone else
      • He may start comparing you with his friend/colleague – It is the first sign that you may start feeling about in him. If he likes to compare you as a person with his friend or colleague, it clearly shows that he knows them very well, spends good time talking with them, and find them better than you. On the other hand, it is a good thing that he does not mind talking about his friend or colleague with you, or may be he trusts you as well. But, you will get an idea that he is very much comfortable with other girls too.
  • How to end an emotional affair
    • CNForce.com | Learn how to End an Emotional Affair
      •  Foster Your Relationship – You will have had an emotional affair for any reason. Perhaps you felt an emotional disconnect from the partner, or maybe you have your own emotional issues. If you couldn’ t talk to your spouse in the same way as your own friend, there are some things seriously incorrect in your relationship. The one good thing about an emotional affair is that it will make you realise which you have been ignoring your primary relationship, so utilize it as an chance to nurture this.  
  • How to forgive an emotional affair
    • Forgive Infidelity | Coping With an Emotional Affair – 3 Steps to Help Bring Healing  
      • …begin having open and honest conversations with your partner about your relationship. It’s crucial to began getting all of the cards on the table. This requires both of you speaking truthfully about what’s going on and why. It’s important not to argue and point fingers about who is at fault. The goal is not to tear each other down but to start figuring out how you can work together to fulfill all of each other’s needs.

 

Final Thoughts:

  • Elijah’s Thoughts
  • Sarah’s Thoughts

 

In Closing

In closing, on behalf of my fantastic co-host, Sarah J. Storer, author of “How to be Dumped: The Definitive Breakup Guide” I want to thank you for spending time with us today, now let’s continue the conversation at relationspodcast.com/[ShowNumber] and:

 

Final Question:

[Create a question based on the total show, or a quirky incident that happened during recording]?

Tell us about it in the comment section and let’s see if we can’t continue to relate to one another. We’ll talk soon.

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: RSS

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0059 – How do You Get Rid of Emotional Baggage?

 

How do you deal with relationship baggage?

Teaser Bullets

by the end of this episode you’ll learn:

  • What is relationship baggage
  • Signs you’re carrying emotional baggage
  • How to get rid of emotional baggage

Describe the problem

…It’s a rare thing that we enter a relationship unscathed from the one before. Whether there are old hurts, scars, events, or even “hangers on,” we all come into relationships with a certain amount of “baggage.” But how much baggage is “too much?” And should our baggage really matter anyway if we all have it?

Segment #1

  • What is relationship baggage

    • The Red Head Writer | Past Baggage – Emotional And Physical Debris
      • Emotional baggage is a common term used to describe unresolved emotional issues. The term “emotional baggage” brings to mind a visual of a load that is heavy laden with trauma, disappointments, sadness, pain, heartbreak and all the things done wrong to and by you.
    • Independent.com | Recognizing Emotional Baggage
      • Have you ever noticed the way we humans seem compelled to replay the past over and over again in our minds? Even the painful bits. You’d think going through something distressful one time would be enough, and that we’d want to move on and leave the bad stuff behind. But too often we’re subject to a phenomenon called “transference,” when the unconscious casts the new people we meet in the roles of past friends, enemies, parents, partners, bosses, co-workers, and even strangers. It’s like we create our lives by remaking the same old movie again and again with new actors in the same familiar roles.
  • Signs you’re carrying emotional baggage
    • YourTango | 5 Signs You’re Carrying Emotional Baggage
      • You’re paranoid. We don’t blame you for being a bit suspicious about infidelity, especially if you’ve been burned in the past. But in order for a relationship to work, you have to trust each other. If you don’t fully trust him—or even if you do, and are just being cautious—your paranoia can manifest itself in some extremely unattractive ways: clinginess, neediness, breaches in privacy… (No, we don’t condone e-snooping of any kind.) No man (or woman, for that matter) wants to feel as if he’s under constant surveillance, especially if he did absolutely nothing to betray your trust. So keep your suspicions in check, unless he’s done something that’s actually worth worrying about.
    • PsychCentral.com | Identifying Your Emotional Baggage
      • It feels as if the person you’re reacting to is behaving like someone from your past. If you think this idiot is acting just like my father,  that’s a pretty good sign that your emotional baggage is involved.

Segment #2

  • How to get rid of emotional baggage
    • Life 2.0.com | Get Rid of That Emotional Baggage
      • Accept that you have baggage – [You must] accept the fact that you do have baggage that might be holding you back from being in a great new relationship. Whatever the problem is, you have to realize that it’s there and you are going to have to deal with it in order to get past it.  Talk to a best friend about it and make a plan about how you plan to move on from it.
    • DecodingHim.com | How To Deal With Past Emotional Baggage
      • Identify your triggers. One of the hallmarks of past emotional baggage is that it is riddled with triggers. A trigger is something that reminds you of the past, thereby bringing up the old feelings, memories, and reactions. If your prior partner cheated on you, a trigger might be his talking to another woman at a party or walking away from you to talk on his cell. These triggers would cause you to feel distrustful and suspicious.
    • BeautyDivaEmpowers.com | Unpack the emotional baggage
      • Develop healthy friendships and relationships. Who you associate with is very important. You need to be surrounded by people who support, uplift, encourage and correct you when needed. Unhealthy relationships can inhibit your growth. You can become stagnant and unmotivated, being surrounded by the wrong people. They have their own baggage that they are carrying around. Don’t allow them to speak negativity into your life. You can wish them the best and keep it moving. You can’t change who they are. The only thing you can do is continue to be the best person you can be.
    • LeaderChat.org | 6 Ways to Get Rid of Emotional Baggage BEFORE a Challenging Conversation
      • Journaling – When you can take the time to write down your thoughts on paper, sometimes they become clearer. Even a little bit of this can be useful. The difference between journaling and fast writing is that the journal is intended for future review. You may find it useful to reflect later on what you were thinking before the conversation and how things changed afterwards.
      • Your journal entry doesn’t have to be shared with anyone. This can be especially helpful for more introverted people who really aren’t comfortable letting others in on their personal thoughts and feelings.

 

Final Thoughts:

  • Elijah’s Thoughts
  • Sarah’s Thoughts

 

In Closing

In closing, on behalf of my fantastic co-host, Sarah J. Storer, author of “How to be Dumped: The Definitive Breakup Guide” I want to thank you for spending time with us today, now let’s continue the conversation at relationspodcast.com/[ShowNumber] and:

 

Final Question:

[Create a question based on the total show, or a quirky incident that happened during recording]?

Tell us about it in the comment section and let’s see if we can’t continue to relate to one another. We’ll talk soon.

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Posted on

0058 – Six Ridiculous Sex Myths That You Probably Still Believe

 

We’ll discuss the most prevalent, and most false sex myths that still insult society’s intelligence daily…or do they?

Teaser Bullets

by the end of this episode you’ll learn:

  • Sex Myths on…
    • Pregnancy
    • Sexual Urges
    • Contraception
    • Planning Sex
    • STD’s
    • Masturbation

Describe the problem

Now that ‘Sex Talk’ is officially on the table, let’s start by being frank: There’s a whole lot of lies being spread about sex. While most are funny and (kinda) harmless, there are many that will get you straight up dead. We’d like to prevent that, and yes, you ARE welcome.

Segment #1

  • Sex and Pregnancy
    • FemGuide | The Top 10 Most Popular Sex Myths You Must Know
      • You cannot get pregnant during your first sexual encounter Your body does not know if it is your first or five hundredth sexual encounter. If a healthy sperm meets a healthy eggs, pregnancy will occur.
      • You cannot get pregnant if you have sex in water There is a tiny risk that some water might dilute the sperm to prevent pregnancy, but this risk is very small. Remember that a man’s penis is deep inside a woman’s vagina during sex, so it is unlikely that enough water would enter this area to act as a reliable form of birth control.
  • Sexual Urges
    • CarryFitness.com | Top Myths About Sex
      • Men have more sexual urges than women
      • Guys may have a reputation for always thinking about sex, but, just like all stereotypes, that’s not necessarily true.
      • Though many men would have you believe they’re ready to go 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, the truth is that men experience daily fluctuations in libido, as do women.
  • Contraception
    • Sida-Aids.org | http://news.sida-aids.org/top-10-most-outrageous-sex-myths/
      • Two condoms are better than one – In this case two is not necessarily better than one. In short, one condom does the job. According to the U.S. Centers for Disease Control & Prevention (CDC), condoms when used consistently and correctly are highly effective in preventing the sexual transmission of STDs, including HIV. Each latex condom manufactured in the U.S. is tested for holes before packaging. Before using a condom it’s still a good idea to inspect to check the expiration date and make sure there has been no damage. In most cases, when people using condoms get pregnant or infected with and STD, it’s NOT because the condom broke; it’s because they either did not use the condom correctly, or they did not use it the whole time they were having sex.

Segment #2

  • Planning Sex
    • iVillage.com |  The Top 10 Sex Myths (Only 2 Are True!)  
      • If you have to plan sex, and it isn’t spontaneous, something’s wrong. Heaven help your partner if you believe this one. Desire might well tap you on the shoulder in the early stages of a relationship, but the hormones that fuel the tapping disappear after about 18 months. Well, if you’re lucky actually; plenty of couples find desire lowers dramatically after about nine months. But don’t panic. It doesn’t mean you’ll never fancy each other again; it just means that you need to keep reminding your body and brain how much you enjoy sex. Spontaneous sex is usually good sex. But planning a sex session — anticipating it, looking forward to it — this makes for pretty good sex as well.
  • No Sex Because of the Headache
    • Sify.com | Top 10 sex myths
      • I can’t darling, I’ve got a headache – Have you ever used the old headache excuse, or been denied some loving action because of one? Well, we have a cure for her sore head because sex has medicinal properties. When women have sex, endormorphins are released into her body, which in turn relieves pain. Therefore getting under the covers should help ease a woman’s headache.
  • Bathroom STD’s
    • YourTango.com | Top 10 Myths About Safe Sex And Sexual Health
      • Sexually transmitted diseases or infections can’t live outside the body for a long period of time—especially not on a cold, hard surface like a toilet seat. Plus, they aren’t present in urine, anyway (it’s usually sterile), so the chances of you catching one from whoever used the bathroom before you are slim to none, says Dr. Yen. What you do need to worry about, however, is what may seem like benign skin-to-skin or mouth-to-mouth contact. Kissing, for example, can spread herpes (and deeper kissing can even spread oral gonorrhea and chlamydia, Dr. Yen warns), while skin rubbing together can pass infections such as genital warts, herpes, scabies, and pubic lice.
  • Masterbation
    • Lifestyle Panache | Top 5 Sex Myths of All Time
      • Masturbation is unhealthy and reduces sperm count – This is so not true. Doctors say that masturbating regularly is an healthy alternative to sex. It has got nothing to do with sperm count. Also, many people think that it makes one lose interest in sex. That is again a myth to laugh at. Sex should be on your mind for it to be exciting as ever.

 

Final Thoughts:

  • Elijah’s Thoughts
  • Sarah’s Thoughts

 

In Closing

In closing, on behalf of my fantastic co-host, Sarah J. Storer, author of “How to be Dumped: The Definitive Breakup Guide” I want to thank you for spending time with us today, now let’s continue the conversation at relationspodcast.com/[ShowNumber] and:

 

Final Question:

[Create a question based on the total show, or a quirky incident that happened during recording]?

Tell us about it in the comment section and let’s see if we can’t continue to relate to one another. We’ll talk soon.

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: RSS